


The Wedding Game

by Jay2Noir



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AO3 FB Challenge, Arranged Marriage, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Kylo Ren, Cheating, F/M, Fights, Forced Marriage, Human Trafficking, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kylo Ren Angst, Love, Marriage, Medical Procedures, Minor Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, POV Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Revenge Sex, Rimming, Slow Burn, Tag As I Go, Threesome - F/M/M, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, Yoga, kylo ren learns yoga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-03-08 23:41:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13469070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay2Noir/pseuds/Jay2Noir
Summary: Your parents had conditioned you from the very beginning to be happy to marry someone that would bring them wealth and riches. As you grew you realized how they really pictured you: As property. Your heart broke when they sold you with no hesitation to the First Order, thinking they had accepted a paycheck for your death. But you now stand in front of your new husband confused, why won't he speak to you? Or even so much as look at you, his unwilling wife.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the AO3 facebook group 3 year anniversary challenge. I wanted to wait until I had this short story finished to post it but I wouldn't have finished it by the 31st, so I'm posting it now and will work on it in between my two other WIPs!  
> I've been dying to write this fic out but never really had an excuse to until this challenge was posted, so here we are!

Having been groomed from birth to be married off to the first man your parents saw fit for you, you felt completely justified in absolutely detesting them with all of your being. Since you could understand their speech you could remember your father sitting you on his lap, dressing you in the finest of dresses, and telling you that you’d make him so much money, you’d be a beautiful girl that would be married off to a rich man and make your parents so happy. When you were younger the thought excited you, but as you grew you realized that your parents saw you as a human paycheck and didn’t care about you at all.

Once you hit your teenage **years** you rebelled, often sneaking out of your window at night to indulge yourself in whatever you felt like at the time, sex, drugs, alcohol, it didn’t matter to you. It was destroying you and destroying your parents thoughts of you, you hoped that it would stop them from wanting to marry you off. You thought that maybe, just maybe, if you made yourself unmarriable then your parents would actually love you and you could get clean and have an actual relationship with them.

But of course, as they always did, they proved you wrong.

On your 18th **birthday** your father started the bidding, the year he had kept you locked in your room, only allowing the windows to open just a crack and keeping your door locked with a padlock so you could not escape. You went through the withdrawls, the pain of not having your various drug and alcohol fixes, but it worked. You were now clean by force, and as you stood in front of this large **group** of men ready to buy you and marry you, you felt like you wanted to cry. All your life this is what you were told would happen to you, you knew that this day was coming, but even still you were terrified. Wishing your parents would change their mind and love you for once, but the auctioneer still started your bidding, you felt so hopeless.

You stood there with tears running down your face, dripping down onto your expensive dress and staining it. Your father squeezed your arm as he whispered in your ear “wipe those tears off of your face.” You did as he told you, thinking there was no use fighting it now.

But much to your surprise, there was silence. You cracked open one eye and saw an unamused crowd of people staring at you, no one was raising their bidding cards. You looked around in disbelief, nobody wanted you. “Young girl, 18 years old? No bids?” The auctioneer looked around and asked, his voice on the loud speaker echoing off of the walls. “Going once, going twice....” You bit your lip as a smile spread across your face, not a single person in this room wanted you to be their wife. This was grand, maybe now your parents would leave you alone and let you do your own thing; Maybe now they’d love you.

Of course not. Your parents were determined to get you sold. Every week they took you to the auction and every week it was the same thing. Nothing, no bids, no nothing. Your father blamed it on your drug use, your mother blamed it on your plain looks. Either way, they were both disappointed in you, they had these high expectations that they had bestowed upon you, and you let them down. You often cried alone in your room, your father had removed the lock so you were allowed to walk around your home, but you often liked to sit alone. You were a disgrace, your parents didn’t want you and you figured neither would a man.

 

One morning you walked downstairs for breakfast. Normally you had to fend for yourself for breakfast, often limiting yourself to just a bowl of fruit or a small pastry before disappearing back into your room. But this morning was strange. Your father greeted you at the stairs with a kiss on the cheek, and as he the strong scent of pancakes and sausages filled your nostrils. “Goodmorning, my beautiful daughter!” Your father said, taking your hand and pulling you down the landing and to the kitchen. “Morning dad.” You mumbled, this was strange. Your father hadn’t said more than five words to you since your failed auction a few weeks ago, why was he all of the sudden acting like you were his most prized possession? “Come my dear, let’s eat breakfast. Your mother has cooked all kinds of good foods for our guests!”

Your wrinkled your nose at the word “guest.” _Guests?_ Your family had never had guests before in your life. Regardless, you knew it was just another way to try and sell you off. You kept your mouth shut and followed his lead. Sure enough, out at your dining room table there were three men dressed in all black. They each had a plate of sausage, eggs, bacon, and pancakes and some star fruit in front of them, although they seemed to be less interested in the food and more interested in you as you made your appearance.

You wrapped your arms around yourself feeling rather exposed as you were only wearing your sleeping shorts and a tank top. Had you known you’d have company you would have changed your clothes, but it didn’t seem like your father was reprimanding you for your clothing so you tried not to worry. “Have a seat dear, have some breakfast.” Your mother said, very cheery and housewife like. Without a word you took your usual place at the dining room table and she placed a plate of food down in front of you. You picked at the sausage, not really wanting to eat with these men staring at you like you were a fresh piece of meat as well.

As your parents took a seat on either side of you the man in the middle spoke up, drawing his gaze from you to your father. “Okay, so as we were saying,” He began, pushing his untouched plate of food away from him. “We are from the Knights of Ren. Our Master’s Master has sent us on a mission to find a suitable…” He side eye’d you as you stuck a forkful of egg into your mouth, you immediately stopped chewing as you noticed his eyes on you, worried about what kind of impression you needed to be making. Although you did want to please your parents for once in your life, you weren’t sure if you were ready to be married off yet. You didn’t even know who the Knights of Ren were, they sounded like some sort of Medieval Boy Band that you didn’t want to get involved with.

“ _Mate,_ for him. He’s the most exalted member of the First Order and his Master worries that he will have no one to pass his bloodline down with.”

You nearly choked on your egg as you heard the words ‘The First Order.’ “The First Order? What? No!” You spoke up, slamming your palms onto the table and spitting the tiniest bit of egg out onto your plate. “They’re, they’re evil! I don’t wanna marry a member of the First--” Your father placed his hand over your face to shut you up. “Don’t listen to her, friends! She would be happy to marry whoever you see fit within your organization!”

“And if she does marry into the First Order wouldn’t we become protected members as well?” Your mother asked as she excitedly took a look at you. “We would pledge our allegiance to the First Order in a heartbeat!” Your father finally let go of your face and although you desperately wanted to scream and run away from these people sitting no more than five feet away from you, you sat still. You feared for your life at this point, if you didn’t comply you worried that they’d kill both you and your parents.

“Well, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves.” The man chuckled, looking your father in his eyes. “Before we do anything we’re going to need her medical records and I’m going to have to submit some pictures to verify that this is the woman Commander Ren wants.” Your father hastily nodded his head at them, his smile growing larger at the prospect of finally having you sold. “Not a problem, friends. When can we discuss payment?” You rolled your eyes, feeling the tears forming behind your eyes as you realized your father would have sold you to the Hutts for two pennies at this point, your father would have probably killed you if someone paid him to. You had never felt love and you thought you never would, not even from a man who married you.

 

They took you upstairs and took some full body photos of you as well as some portraits, you feared they would make you remove your clothing but found that they didn’t ask and you weren’t going to suggest the idea either. The man asked that he send your medical records to him in the First Order as soon as possible, then bid your family farewell. Your mother and father were elated, jumping around and beginning to celebrate the fact that you were basically to be sold to one of the richest men in the Galaxy. Meanwhile you sat in your room bawling, sure he was rich but he was also a killer, you felt as if your parents would be signing your own death certificate if they were to send you to the First Order, but what could you do? You had no say in this deal, you were just a pawn in this big game of money and power being played by your parents.

 

Your father falsified your records to show that you had always been clean of drugs and that you were in good health and sent them off to the First Order as quick as he could. As your parents waited to hear from them you spent most of your time in your room, debating on whether or not you wanted to make one more run for it while you could before being carted off to the First Order. Your window still only opened to a crack, you would have to run out of the front door. The more you thought of it, the more useless the idea sounded. It was the First Order, they would have ways to track you down. You were certain they had spies on every planet, if not spies then they had storm troopers proudly marching about to enforce the laws on the First Order governed planets. Your best bet was to just sit in your room and hope the deal fell through, that your mother was right when she said you were too plain looking to ever be married.

 

Months later you were hoping you would have been long forgotten about, that the First Order would have found someone else to marry their Commander and that you’d continue to have your freedom. That wasn’t the case, because one morning you awoke to your parents running up and down the halls of your house screaming. You immediately flew out of bed and opened the door, running out into the hall thinking there was an emergency of some kind and you’d have to evacuate your home. A fire, a burglar, or toxic gas? Which ever it was, you were sure you didn’t want it to kill you, so you ran in the direction of your parents hoping to get away from the danger.

Unfortunately, it turned out that instead of you coming away from the danger, you’d be going straight to the danger. Your father gleefully explained to you that a check from the First Order had come in the mail, a check for 1.3 million dollars in your planets currency. Along with it was a letter explaining that the wedding ceremony would be taking place approximately two weeks and they needed to have you ready for marriage by then. Your dress and shoes had already been picked out for you, all your parents needed to do was let them know when you were ready to come down.

With tears in your eyes you pleaded with them not to let you go, to please find someone else to marry you to for you were terrified of how you’d be treated in the First Order. The only thing they did was laugh hysterically in your face as they told you no, this would definitely be the highest price they’d get for you and they wouldn’t take any less.

“But I’m just a regular girl! I’ve been on drugs and I’ve had sex already, I’m not royalty or magical or anything! Why do they want me so bad?!”

“I have no idea, my daughter. But you’ve made us rich.” Your father told you as he cupped your cheeks in his hands. “I’m so proud of what you’ve come to be.” He said, wiping your tears away. You supposed that this was it, this is what you yearned for, years and years of wishing and hoping that your parents loved you. You wanted them to be proud of you, and as they were making arrangements to send you far, far away from them, they told you that you had done it, that you had finally made them proud. Your lip quivered as more tears streamed down your cheeks, this was not the way you wished your parents would have been proud of you.

But now what choice did you have? Crying and worrying endlessly about being in the First Order would do you no good if you had no choice of finding a different husband. You had to suck it up, to be strong and to prove to your parents that you could make them even prouder. Even though you were fearful you’d marry this man and you’d show him what you were made of, you wouldn’t let him toss you around like a toy and you wouldn’t let him dominate you. This was a dangerous game that you decided right then and there that you wouldn’t allow yourself to be a pawn in, you’d be a player and you’d play your cards and pieces well. You would come out strong and mighty, on top and alive no matter what it took.


	2. Chapter 2

Your parents had you flown to the Star Killer Base two days after they got their payment. The Knights of Ren had came back to your house, but this time there were four of them. You had packed your bags the night before, packing only your favorite articles of clothing as well as a photo of your mother and father on their wedding day, a reminder of what you were fighting to conquer while you were married and so far away from them. You weren’t really a materialistic person, you weren’t packing any of the small trinkets or toys you had collected over the years, they could throw all of those away if they wanted to. 

You waited outside on your patio with your mother, clutching your suitcase between your legs as you sadly waited for the Knights to come and take you away from everything you had known. It was nerve-wracking, your mother wasn’t saying anything to you and, likewise, you weren’t saying anything to her either. You just sat there silently feeling betrayed, feeling like livestock being sold to a butcher by your own parents. The parents who made you, the mother who birthed you. They raised you and raised you for this one, single purpose, and that was to make them as much money as they could get off of you. 

As you saw the ship beginning to touch down, bringing various buildings and other structures on your home planet down with it, the prospect became that much more real. Your mother became very excited, her grin nearly splitting her face open as she pulled your hand toward the large ship. “There they are, they’re finally here for you!” She said, without even bothering to look at you. You kept your tears at bay, crying would not get you out of the situation and would only make you appear even weaker than you were. 

“Mom?” You finally spoke up, pulling your free hand from her grasp. She turned her head toward you, you could just barely see her eyes and it was obvious she wasn’t interested in what you had to say. All she wanted was for you to get on the big black ship as fast as you could with no questions asked. You had one question, one burning question you had always wanted to ask both of your parents, now more than ever since you assumed that you’d never see them again.

“Did you ever, truly love me?” 

You let your words sink into her, she looked back at you with wide eyes, as if you just found out her big secret that she had been hiding from you for the last 18 years. Although she didn’t answer you, the look on her face told you everything. You and your family were lower middle-class citizens, they more than likely had heard about the marriage trade and had bred you just to make a profit. You were never anything more than a paycheck to them, even before you were born they had decided to sell you. 

You shook your head as s your head as she looked away from you, once again her attention trained on the tall, bug-like ship that was now dropping its hatch, revealing the same four men that interviewed you and your parents standing and waiting there for you. “Oh goodie, you’re not going with strangers.” Your mother said, turning and smiling at you, you wished so badly you could wipe that grin off of her face. Just because you met these people before doesn’t mean they’re not strangers to you. 

“Everything put in place?” One of the men asked as you and your mother met them at the base of the ramp. “Yes sir!” Your mother said, pushing you forward. “She had her suitcase packed and she’s ready to spend the rest of her life with her husband!” 

“Excellent.” The man said, reaching into his coat pocket and producing a pen and a stack of papers. “I’ll need you to sign here at the bottom, relinquishing your rights as her owner over to us, these documents will be voided once she signs her marriage certificate and she will be a free woman.” Without any hesitation your mother snatched the items out of his hand and placed her signature boldly and quickly on the line he had pointed to. 

As soon as she handed them back your suitcase was plucked from your hands by another Knight. “She won’t be needing any of this,” The man said, throwing your suitcase off of the ramp. “Hey, no!” You protested, a weak attempt was made to save your suitcase in midair was made that only left you nearly tumbling down the ramp and onto your face. “Our people have gathered up enough clothes and toiletries for her, she can leave these rags here.” 

You watched powerlessly as your luggage tumbled in the air, hitting the ground and breaking completely open. The clothes you had considered to be valuable were now sitting in the orange dust that was your home planet, and the photo of your parents was sitting amongst a cloud of dust, cracked straight down the middle. You finally allowed yourself to cry, to shed small and silent tears over the loss of the only possessions you wanted to take with you during this new chapter in your life. 

“Alright, well if you don’t have any more questions for us, we’ll be taking her to the Star Killer Base at once.” One of the Knights said, bringing you out of your grief and back into reality. 

“None whatsoever!” Your mother said, taking a step back. You briefly wondered where your father was, why he hadn’t led you to your imminent demise along with your mother. “Then we’ll be off.” The man smiled as he glared over at you, a grin that made your stomach churn. You worried that these men were going to harm you, to force themselves on you before you even got to meet your “husband,” because that grin was one of true evil. “Come along girl, there’s nothing that you should be afraid of, at least not in our care.” He mumbled as he began ascending the ramp, expecting you to follow him up. You shot another look back at your mother, through teary eyes you saw her speed walking away from you; No goodbye, no good luck, nothing. You expected a tear-jerking apology, or at the very least a hug. Maybe even a “thank you so much for making me all this money oh daughter of mine!” 

But she said nothing, your tears dripped onto the metal ramp as your mother disappeared into your now old home, slamming the door and not taking another look back.

“Did you hear me, girl? We must leave at once!” He shouted at you, you could hear the engines revving in the background as you realized the ship was beginning to take off. You weren’t ready for this, you weren’t ready to sign your life and body away to the First Order.

“Wait! You said the wedding isn’t for another 2 weeks, right?” You said, one final attempt to prolong your freedom. The man turned and looked at you, annoyed with your continued defiance. “Please, let me stay on my planet for another two weeks! I promise I won’t go anywhere else!” You said as you took a step back, but soon found that the ramp was rising ever so slowly, creating clouds of white exhaust around you. “That won’t be happening, miss. We have strict orders to bring you onto the base immediately.” 

He began walking toward you, and as he did you took half thought of dive toward your last few inches of freedom. You thought if you made it through the small crack between the top of the ship and the ramp then you’d fall, hit the ground, and start running. If not then you’d be no doubt crushed, dead, and you wouldn’t have to marry into the First Order. It was an extreme hope, but you were terrified. It was an action that came from fear, and immediate actions that were made of fear were almost never good.

Your dreams were crushed, however, when the man seized you by the back of your shirt, causing you to stumble backward onto your ass. “You won’t be getting away that easily, I’m sorry to say.” He taunted you, sounding quite annoyed with your outburst. He began to drag you backward as you watched the ramp come all the way up to a complete shut, a noise that sounded like a large metal lock engaging told you that you were now sealed away, completely at the mercy of these men. You kicked your legs and reached behind your neck, trying as hard as you could to pull that man's hands off of you. “Stop, please stop!” You felt degraded, like you were a child being dragged off to be punished for the stupid stunt you thought you could pull.

“I’ll walk! I promise I’ll walk!” You pleaded, the metal floor under you was painful, you thought you’d have a sore on your behind if he kept dragging you for much longer. “Like hell you will.” The man said as he brought you up over the hinge and onto the flat slate floor. He pulled you up to your feet and pushed you down a small, short, darkened hallway. “Since you’ve proven to be uncontrollable you’re going to be spending the ride imprisoned.” He said, his words cold-hearted and distant. It was clear he just wanted to do his job, to transport you to the First Order, and you were giving him a hard time about it.

You imagined a prison cell, bars and a locked door with a small slit in it for food. You had been in prison one for 12 hours, petty theft is what they charged you with but your parents were kind enough to bail you out and pay your fine--All you stole was a chocolate bar from the bazaar down the road from your home. You would be comfortable in a prison cell, it would be your own space that no one could come into and you’d be free to do whatever you wanted basically, the idea wasn’t all that bad.

Until you actually came to where they would be holding you. It was a glass tube that ran from the floor into the ceiling, there didn’t seem to be any air holes or anything. “You’re going to keep me in there?” You said with wide eyes, not believing you’d even fit in between the glass. “You’ve earned it.” He stated while pressing a combination into a keypad next to it. The front of the glass then slid open and he pushed you inside. As you stumbled into your tubal prison your face pressed against the back glass panel and you couldn’t lift yourself up fast enough to try and fight your way out. The glass slid in place behind you and now you were officially on lockdown.

You slowly and intricately stepped your way in a circle to face your body out, the tube was so small that your shoulders touched each side, it made you so uncomfortable--especially when you realized that it canceled out all of the sounds on the ship. You watched as the man smiled at you, watched his lips move as he said something that the glass blocked out. You beat your fists on the glass as you begged him to let you out, you didn’t know how far away this Star Killer Base was and you were sure you couldn’t stand in this small glass tube for another three minutes; You weren’t claustrophobic before today’s events but you could feel yourself developing the fear now.

Under you, the small amount of steel floor you were allowed to stand on began to vibrate, and soon you were being thrown against the glass uncomfortably as the ship shook to life and took off, much quicker than all of the other ships you had seen take off in your lifetime. You braced both of your hands on the sides of the glass as you waited for the ride to even out, already beginning to feel sick to your stomach from take off. As soon as the tremors under your feet stopped you took to banging on the glass and screaming once more, hoping that even though all noises from outside of your tube were muted someone would be able to hear you and kindly release you; Never in your miserable life did you ever think you’d be trapped inside of a glass tube like this.

You somehow endured the entire flight, you suspected they had put the ship into light speed as it only seemed you were in the rube for roughly ten minutes--but you felt it was ten minutes too long. The same men that stole you from your home came and unlocked the tube, to which you nearly stumbled to the ground, happy to be freed from your clear, tubular prison. The men caught you, hoisting you back up on your feet and that’s when you noticed something new.

Helmets. The men that were holding you up all now dawned black and silver helmets on their heads. They had gone from cruel, heartless men to masked and mysterious creatures. Either way, you knew their intentions were not good and you felt your fight or flight response kick right into flight mode. 

But of course they held onto you tight, marching you from the ship, through the snow, into the base and through the winding black and grey hallways until you reached a lone door. You had taken in your surroundings as best as you could while you were on your way here and found that it was literally just a random door, further down the hall from where you came was several office spaces and janitor closets, the fact that they were typing in a code to open this particular door worried you greatly.

Ignoring your hesitations they opened the single door and revealed an extremely,  _ extremely  _ small residence. A dull, grey looking twin sized bed sat up against the wall and about five feet away stood a fridge and a microwave on top. On the wall next to the bed sat a bookcase and next to that was a door, you could only assume that it was a bathroom. It was as if someone had cramped everything needed to live semi comfortably into a prison cell, there just wasn’t very much room at all.

The men pushed you in, so hard that you fell flat on your face in the small area they had prepared for you. The air was cold, lonely, and unwelcoming, it was as if the room didn’t want you sitting in it at all. Before you could get up, however, you heard the door close behind you, slamming shut so hard you jumped and immediately sat up, craning your neck to see that you were, indeed, alone. There were no windows, no phones, to electronics, just you and the bland things that surrounded you. 

You jumped to your feet and ran up to the door, twisting the doorknob over and over only to find that the door had been locked from the outside. You then bannged your fists against it, then your feet, then finally your head, trying desperately to get somebody's attention, to get someone to let you out of this meager prison that was masked to be a home. You sobbed, screaming the word no over and over when you realized you were alone and would likely be alone until the dreaded day came when you would finally do what you had been bred to do and marry the Commander of the First Order.

It was depressing, futile, and just plain wrong. You were helpless and essentially useless, left to just sit here and think about the coming day when you’d marry Kylo Ren. Would he still keep you here after he’s married you, leave you to suffer all by yourself? It was a horrendous fate, a fate you didn’t want to see happen. 

You stood, wiped your eyes as you decided that they’d have to let you out of here at least once to marry him, you had one chance to either run or try and convince someone, anyone, to let you live out the rest of your life in a much more suitable living space, the claustrophobia you had gained on your way over was caressing your shoulder at the moment. They said they had wanted you to give him an heir, how were you to carry a child if you were living in such deplorable conditions that made you nervous at all times?

You turned from the door and walked over to the one other door in your room, opening it to, of course, discover a bathroom. The room was much smaller, housing only a toilet and a small, cramped shower that reminded you too much of your tube in the command shuttle. You shook your head, flipping the light on and leaving the door open, your living space seemed all the more bigger that way.

A small, crinkling noise drew your attention from the bookcase to the front door. You looked over and found a folded up note had been passed under the threshold and over the concrete that was your cell. “Wait! No, don’t leave, please!” You ran up to the door as you knocked on it again, someone must have shoved it under your door, it couldn’t have just walked under it on its own. But the door never opened, you simply stood in front of the door with the new addition to your room sitting at your feet. With a heavy grimace you bent down, seizing the note angrily in your hands and unfolding it to reveal some handwritten text:

 

_ To the chosen wife of Kylo Ren, _

_ This is where you will live out the two weeks until your wedding. All of your meals will be brought to you and you are expected to remain docile while the storm troopers deliver it to you. You are allowed to save the food and heat it up later if you wish, but should you become belligerent at any point, trying to force your way out of the door or harm them in any way, then everything in this room will be removed and you will have to live without until you are married. To which you will live with Kylo Ren for the remainder of your time in the First Order.  _

 

You rolled your eyes and crumpled the paper up, throwing it as hard as you could across the room angrily as you felt the tears welling in your eyes once more. So, this was a prison cell. You sat on the bed with your chin in both of your palms, your elbows resting on your knees as you willed your tears away, you had to be strong, you had to fight, tears would not help you at all. As you looked around you repeated in your head that they’d be letting you out in two weeks, there was no reason to try and break out when you’d be living in a more comfortable living space soon.

You sighed as you realized that now you  _ had  _ to be looking forward to your wedding for that would be the day you would be liberated, at least from this small room.

 

\--

 

Kylo Ren came to visit his future wife every so often in the two weeks from his wedding date. Each time he did he could never muster up the courage to punch the code in and go see her. Sometimes he would just stand there and stare at the door, sometimes he would start punching the code in, then falter right at the very last few digits. Sometimes he didn’t even stop at all, just walk by with a single glance.

Most of the time, however, he was shaking his head, especially when he could sense her dread, tears, and sadness. He wanted to meet her, to tell her that he didn’t want this at all, and if he could he’d let her go. But of course, that’s not what the Supreme Leader wants. Kylo was content with just living out the rest of his life alone, he liked it better that way.

But no, both he and she had no choice in the matter and every time he went to introduce himself as her fiance, he would fall short, thinking he was probably the last person in this entire galaxy she wanted to see.

He was content with that thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this won't be long, lol. I'm working on it intermittently between my other two, so it won't have a set update schedule unfortunately.


	3. Chapter 3

For two weeks you sat in that small room alone. You wondered if you’d have a different living situation if you had complied with them from the jump or if they’d still be stashing you here. There was a small clock on the wall opposite of your bed, but no other indication of this planets date system. You had assumed they used the same 24 hour cycle as your planet, and every day at 2 pm you marked one X on the wall behind your bed with a fork you had kept from your dinner on your first night. Once you reached 14 X’s then you knew it would be your wedding day, the day you’d finally get to meet your husband, Kylo Ren. 

You tried to keep as active as you could in that small room, you figured sitting around and moping would do you no good at all. You were going into this forced agreement with the most positive outlook that you could, you had to keep your head up to prove to your parents that you were a survivor and you could handle even the worst curveball that they threw at you. 

In the morning you normally woke up sometime between 9 AM and noon, it depended on what time they brought you your breakfast. The storm troopers would march in with your tray and set it on the counter, the first few days you begged them to let you out, to at least tell you have a walk and get some fresh air. But they never spoke a word to you, each time they came for your meals they said nothing. 

You’d have a stretch and you’d jog in place after breakfast, after lunch you’d do some sit ups, then after dinner you’d meditate and try some yoga techniques you learned in school. It was the best thing you could do to try and calm yourself before spending a restless night in your uncomfortably small room in your uncomfortably small bed. As the X’s drew closer and closer to the empty box you would put the 14th X in when the day came you found yourself unable to sleep. By the 12th day you had almost grown attached to your small little safe haven, Kylo Ren hadn’t come inside to confront you and at the very least you were kept alive in here. On the 13th day you only got up out of bed to retrieve your meals, then you’d slink back in bed under to eat and then throw the covers back over you, after dinner you were unable to add the last X to the empty box that would make two weeks since the day you were brought here. 

 

\--

Kylo woke up to a knock on his door, his datapad beeping over and over as well as vibrating to let him know he was getting a holocall. He groaned, feeling his headache from his hangover starting to set in already. Today was his wedding day, and he had spent the entire previous night drinking and moping. He hated that he was having to get married against his will, he didn’t even know this woman or what she would be like once she had to share a home with her. He snarled, rejecting the call from the officer who was no doubt calling to make sure he let the wedding assistant in on time at 9 AM. Wiping the sleep and attempting to rub the hangover away he looked at the clock on his tablet: 10:43 AM. He rolled his eyes, this was so stupid. 

Since he knew his future wife was unwilling to marry him, afraid of him and the First Order, he thought about having the ceremony and then sending her off to her own quarters somewhere else or even to another planet. But the purpose of this sham that Snoke was calling a “marriage” was to create an heir, Snoke would not allow the girl to be kept anywhere other than in Kylo’s living space. His data pad rang again, further sending Kylo into an uninterested and pained state of mind. He sat up and reached for his datapad, he might as well answer it as they would not stop bothering him until he did. 

“What is it?” He said cruely, hoping the officer on the other end would get the idea that he didn’t want to be bothered and just leave him alone. “Good, er...good morning Commander Ren!” They said, feigning cheer. Kylo scowled, rubbing his entire hand across his forehead, he didn’t have the patience for this. “Get on with what you have to say, officer.”

“Yes sir!” They said loudly, he could almost see them jumping on the other end. “Um, I was just calling to check in, sir. Today is your wedding day and the wedding planner should be outside of your door now.” There was silence for a moment before his quarters was once again filled with knocking. Kylo shook his head, irritated completely now with everyone and everything around him. “I’ll take care of it.” Kylo said, hanging up on the officer without another word. With a huff he finally got out of bed, moving to the bathroom to retrieve some pain medication, if he was going to be forced to go through with this ceremony then he could at least go through it without a headache.

The wedding planner took Kylo’s measurements and fitted him for a full suit, every now and again she’d hint that his wedding was happening at noon and they had to hurry or he’d be late for his own wedding. “That wouldn’t be good, would it Commander?” She giggled, after the fifth time she said that Kylo not so kindly asked her to keep quiet for the rest of their time together. She bit her lip, taking a step away from him afraid. Kylo shook his head, went on to read through his messages from the previous night. He got one from the General, one congratulating him on his wedding day, to which Kylo rolled his eyes. Hux was the last person he wanted to hear from, in fact he never wanted to speak to him ever again. 

Well, that was likely a little excessive. The last time he had spoken to Hux in person was two nights ago, and both of them had expressed extreme disinterest in Kylo’s wedding. Kylo ended the conversation with a simple ‘what can be done?’ Then walked away from Hux for hopefully the last time, in this particular style of meeting. He wouldn’t mind working with Hux, but the late night, after hours meetings would have to end. 

“Now what color flowers would you like her to have Commander? You can choose from these-”

“I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut?” Kylo said as calmly as he could, the assistant backed away cautiously. “I don’t care what you choose, just choose something and leave me alone.” Kylo said taking a glance at his wall clock, which read 12:10 pm.

 

Kylo stood at the altar at 1 pm in front of Snoke with almost every other member of the First Order in a crowd behind him. The planner had chosen everything for him: The ring set, the flowers, her dress, among other things. Kylo shook his head as he realized because he was late, his wife would be late as well. He had been told they had taken pictures of her but Snoke would not allow him to view them. For all he knew he was about to commit himself to a Hutt, which would not be okay in his book. He fiddled with the helmet, which was tucked under his arm. He couldn’t believe how nervous he was at the moment. All he had to do was say ‘I do’ and, presumably, kiss her if he wanted to. He wanted this to go well, by all means, but he worried it would go sideways real fast. He worried his wife would hate him, be afraid of him, want to kill him, or would run away. They were the most likely outcomes so Kylo simply wanted to call the entire thing off, he didn’t want to be rejected by a woman after being rejected by everyone already in his life. Of course, there was the off chance that it would work, but Kylo saw that as unlikely.

Finally, the trumpets sounded and Snoke commanded everyone in the audience to rise for the most important day in First Order History, the day the Commander would be wed and would carry on his bloodline to the next generation of First Order Leaders. The sound of everyone in the audience standing and shuffling around drew Kylo’s attention to the left of the large outdoor stage. The organ began playing a traditional wedding tune and the pit in Kylo’s stomach began to grow bigger and even more sore. This was it, his life would forever be changed now. 

He could see the beginnings of a black silk dress flowing from around the corner, then a small foot that was housed inside of a black flat shoe. Kylo raised an eyebrow, he would have preferred her to wear heels. Just as soon as the foot was brought into view it disappeared, replaced with a bare arm holding a bouquet of red roses. From the erratic movements coming from his future wife he could tell she was fighting with someone, someone who was more than likely trying to push her out onto the stage. He sighed, did this really have to be this difficult? 

This went on for five more seconds before his wife in her entirety came stumbling into his view. Kylo cocked an eyebrow, she certainly wasn’t a Hutt. Her hair was of a natural color, braided beautifully with white flowers and beads woven into different strands. Her dress was marvelous, black layers with the faint sight of ruby red glitter sprinkled amongst the obsidian layers. The look of fear and uncertainty contrasted her beautiful looks, at least he had someone beautiful to look at every day for the rest of his life. 

The two of them looked at each other, Kylo waited impatiently for her to walk across the stage and stand next to him so that this uncomfortable moment could end quicker for the both of them. Instead, she looked at him for a hot second and went prancing in fear back behind the stage. Kylo rolled his eyes, once again thinking of the stupidity of this idea. She was making a fool of herself at this point, everyone, including Snoke, was looking at where she had come from and was waiting for her to enter stage left. Kylo shot a look over at Snoke, silently telling him that this was a terrible idea.

A man in a suit then appeared in her place, dragging her out from behind the stage and whispering something angrily in her ear. He pointed toward Kylo and pushed her toward him, as soon as she caught sight of the large crowd she tried running back once again only to be caught by the man who took ahold of her elbows and began to walk her toward Kylo. Kylo sighed as he looked down at the small droid that had carted the set of golden rings out to him, he felt so bad for the poor girl having to be forced into this.

The only noise that could be heard was the organ, everyone in the crowd was silent as she was dragged out to the altar and stood next to Kylo, clutching the roses close to her chest as if she was holding onto an escape rope that would eventually pull her to safety. Snoke cleared his throat, beginning a speech about the Order and Kylo and about how great they both were and about how he expected this woman to help push Kylo through the ranks of the universe. Kylo was looking down at his shoes the entire time, the one look he stole of his wife he regretted. 

The girl looked downright terrified. Her knuckles were turning white from holding the flowers, skin colored drops of sweat stained her dress due to her fluids removing the makeup from her face and neck, and her teeth were chattering loudly against one another as she looked up at Kylo in a constant state of fear. Kylo dropped his gaze again, shaking his head sadly. 

“Let it be known that Kylo Ren, Commander of the First Order takes this young girl as his wife forever and always. From this day forth she will not only be his life long companion, but will rule by his side and will become the newest authoritative member of the Order.” Kylo had been so preoccupied with staring at the ground and pitying himself and his wife that he didn’t hear Snoke begin the vows. He picked his head up just in time to catch the end of the vows, something about living in total peace with the girl, something that he didn’t intend to do.

“You may kiss the bride.” Snoke said proudly, Kylo once again looked over at his now official wife. She had stopped shaking as she realized it was now time to do what she perhaps feared the most. She was turning red as he watched one single tear fall down her face, he couldn’t believe he struck this much fear into her heart and she didn’t even know him personally. Her eyes shut and she pushed her lips together, seemingly unable to look when he decided to officially make her his. Kylo huffed, turning from her to the droid that held the rings. Why make it that much harder on her?

He reached down and angrily seized his wedding band, then made the split second decision to just simply turn and walk away.

 

\--

 

You were taken back to your small room for the rest of the day after your embarrassing wedding ceremony. As you sat there alone, dressed in nothing but your underwear and happy to be out of that uncomfortable dress, you laughed. Laughed at your fear, laughed at how unamused your now husband was, and laughed at everyone who gasped at Kylo walking away from you without a kiss. It was comical to you because you were afraid of basically nothing, you thought that he was going to take you by the throat and throw you to the ground, force himself between your legs and make you his in front of everyone. But no, he seemed just as upset as you were over this thing called “marriage.”

The person that married you was scary. He was so old, so frail looking, you didn’t even know how he was standing on his own two legs. Snoke was his name, and you assumed that this was the same Snoke that ordered you to marry Kylo. He looked like a dried up raisin, he seemed so weak but he was Kylo’s “master” somehow. Now that you were his wife, was Snoke your master as well? And what about your last name? As far as you knew “Ren” was a title, not a name. You shook your head, did it really matter? You had assumed everyone would just call you “The Commander’s Wife” as you blended into the background. At least that’s how Snoke made it seem. That you’d just be arm candy for Kylo and would just be used to procreate, you weren’t really important to the order.

You wondered about dinner, your clock read 8 pm and you hadn’t eaten lunch or dinner, just a light bowl of fruit for breakfast. Dinner was usually delivered around 5:30 or so, you figured now that you were married they were going to starve you in your quiet little room for whatever reason. Oh well, at least you proved to your parents that you could be married.

Suddenly the door opened and a set of storm troopers barged in, both immediately averting their eyes as you decided not to put on any clothes other than your bra and panties. You looked up at them, wondering why they were encroaching on your personal space. You wondered about telling them to fuck off, exercising your powers as the Commander’s wife over them, but they began speaking as they respectfully turned their backs to your near naked form. “The Commander requests your presences. We are here to move you officially into your new home with your husband.” You stared, silently hoping they’d drag you out in your underwear. The trooper on the left turned his head toward you slightly, clearing his throat before speaking. “Please dress immediately.” He said, you chuckled at them. Clearly you had no choice, you didn’t know why you were prolonging it. Silently you stood and moved to your closet to dress, in order to keep your mind off of what was waiting for you at your new home you wondered what they were going to use this room for once you made your move to your husband's house.

 

The door opened automatically and the troopers saw you inside before disappearing behind the same set of blaster doors, now you were alone. Kylo Ren had apparently known about your arrival and was descending the steps to where you stood in the middle of his living room. You looked up at him, waiting for him to speak to you and tell you what he wanted you to do. Your fear increased as you realized what newly wed couples typically do on their wedding night. You held your arms behind your back and took a step toward him, running wouldn’t work and fighting him definitely would not be an option.

He said nothing to you, just motioned up the stairs for you to follow him. You took in a breath, willing the lead blocks around your feet away. The lights were all out in the house and it was quiet, nearing 9 pm. You’d end up in his bed sooner or later tonight, might as well make it sooner and get it over with. You walked up behind him slowly, staring at the muscles in his back that easily showed through his wife beater. Once you reached the top you realized there was on light on, to the right and in between two doors that were closed. You were staring down the hall, it was a very spacious living space for such a cramped base.

“Shower’s right there.” Kylo said as he pointed to the open door, now turning to the left and opening a door you had missed as you came up the stairs. You wanted to reach out to him, to tell him not to leave you alone in this new area even though you were sure he was capable of harming you at any moment. “You, you want me to shower?” You asked, Kylo stopped right over the threshold of the door to his presumed bedroom. He turned, just barely looking over his shoulder at you. You heard him sigh, then he began to walk deeper into the room, you thought he was about to ignore you. 

“I want you to do what makes you comfortable.” He said, disappearing behind the wall. You stood for just a second, confused. This is not what you were expecting of him. You followed him, gingerly playing with your fingers as you saw him sit on the side of his king sized bed. Nearly everything in his room was black, the floors, the walls, the ceiling, the bedsheets, the tables, everything! It made you shiver, how can someone live with such a bland color? You stepped inside, standing in front of his bed, just waiting for the moment he’d command you to stip and get on your knees. Your heart raced, you tried to be brave but found that you just couldn’t. You didn’t want to have sex with him, you didn’t even want to be living with him, you didn’t want him and you were certain he didn’t want you.

Enough time had passed it seemed as he once again looked over his shoulder at you, looking annoyed. “What is it?” He asked angrily, almost snarling at you as you waited for his direction. Once again you twiddled your fingers together and took a step toward him. “So, don’t we, um…” You struggled to speak to him, these were among the first words you were speaking to your new husband and you didn’t want to anger him more than you already had. “We have to, consummate this thing?” You asked, almost ready to throw yourself out of the nearby window.  He scoffed at you, removing his black socks and tossing them into a pile of dirty laundry that sat in the corner. “Absolutely not.” He said before situating himself in the bed and beginning to flip through his datapad. “Oh, okay.” You said confused, you had always thought when you were married you’d be forced by your husband to have sex with them, a “consummation” as your father called it.

You knew it was coming, and honestly even though you were afraid you would rather have gotten it over tonight. Once again you took a step toward him, beginning to pull on your shirt to take it off of you. “Oh, but I’m a virgin.” You lied, thinking it would increase the appeal and make him want you even more. You pulled your shirt completely off, letting it fall to the plush black carpet and awaited his orders. He looked up at you, his face illuminated by the glow of his tablet. Once again, he looked so unamused. His eyes flicked back down to whatever he was doing and he took in a breath, readying himself to speak to you. As he did you thought this was it, you’d fully commit yourself to your husband right here and right now, there was no reason to be afraid, it was just sex.

“You don’t have to lie to me, girl. I can look at you and tell you aren’t a virgin.” 

In one instant your face took on a look of surprise and your cheeks glowed red with embarrassment. You suddenly felt naked, crossing your hands over your chest like you didn’t want him seeing you with your bra. You almost wanted to apologize to your husband for lying and taking him as a food, you worried he was going to hurt you. “Don’t be ridiculous, put some clothes on and get into bed. I don’t want to touch you any more than you want to touch me.” He said matter of factly, afterword pointing to a nearby closet. You took in a shaky breath and found that your feet didn’t want to move just as they did before coming up the stairs. This was not how you thought your wedding night would be going.

“I’m sorry.” You said, hugging yourself tighter as you made your way to the closet to change. He watched you the entire time, silently observing your nervous body language. Once you entered you closed the door behind you, shaking as you pressed your back against the door and slid to the floor. Night one of many with your husband had already taken an embarrassing turn for the worst, but at least there was no consummation. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, sorry for the mini vacation I took after ending Reteach Me. I had decided to take a few days to work more on my book and had a good time, my first chapter is almost finished! Anyway, I'm back on the same old same old, updating every chance I get between work and parenting. Hope you enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

Your first night with your new husband was uncomfortable. After dressing in some night clothes you found in his closet you slowly and shyly made your way out to the bedroom. You found Kylo once again sitting up in bed on his tablet just as you left him, not paying any attention to you or your loose, comfy, grey clothing. You expected him to reprimand you and, even though he had told you the opposite, you really thought he was going to try and touch you. 

But as you stood there just waiting for his command you found that he said nothing, didn’t even so much as look at you. You didn’t know what he expected of you after you embarrassed yourself in front of him and you didn’t want to find yourself dead should you disappoint him again. 

“Quit standing there like an idiot and find a place to sleep.” He said, his eyes still stuck to his tablet. In a nervous gesture you began rubbing your hands together, thinking carefully on his words. He had told you specifically to  _ find  _ a place to sleep, he didn’t tell you to sleep in bed with him. “You mean...Find somewhere to sleep?” You were babbling like the idiot Kylo accused you of being, cringing as you realized it. “Like anywhere?”

“Just find somewhere where you feel comfortable sleeping and leave me alone.” He bit at you, once again causing your cheeks to redden in embarrassment. You were bothering him, he wanted you to shut up and leave him alone. You turned sharply on your heel and made a beeline for the door, ready to spend your night on the couch you had seen when you first came to your new living quarters. The door closed loudly behind you and you stomped your way down the stairs, failing to remember to grab a pillow or a blanket for your first night in your new home. 

You collapsed on the couch and stretched out, finally feeling safe and sound all by yourself in the dark room. Closing your eyes you let out a heavy sigh, chuckling just a bit right afterword as you felt your nerves come to a calm. Your wedding night absolutely did not go the way you had expected it to, in fact it had gone so far left even you could not have predicted it. The terrifying ceremony, the lack of the kiss, the reaction to you in your underwear, and now your first night. You giggled once more, this was terrific. You snuggled down, getting a little more comfortable on what was technically now your couch. It seemed as if Kylo wasn’t even interested in you, a much better outcome than what you were expecting. As far as you were concerned if Kylo wanted next to nothing to do with you then you wouldn’t want or need anything to do with him. You smiled as you realized it would be like living in the small room again, like living alone in your bedroom at home.

Without Kylo Ren you’d be alone, exactly how you wanted it to be from the very beginning.

 

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and before you knew it you had spent 8 months with your husband. 8 whole months of solitude, cohabiting with a man you once thought to be monstrous but was actually quite soft spoken, reserved, and aloof. You turned into the same thing, you kept to yourself and out of his way, stayed quiet and stayed in the background of his life just as you assumed he wanted. In turn, he left you alone. He never asked you for anything and never told you to do anything for him. You existed soundly together, and that’s all you could have asked for. 

Your routine was basically the same as it was in the smaller room you were housed in; you exercised and did yoga as often as you could, before and after each meal. There really wasn’t much else to do, Kylo had no books and no computer like the richer people from your home planet had--which you found to be odd. The sheer size of his quarters told you he had money, he was the head of the First Order but had almost nothing of value in his home. You had explored it head to toe on your third day, two rooms and a bathroom upstairs and a dining room, kitchen, and living area downstairs. The first room upstairs was the bedroom, obviously. The second seemed to just be a lounge room, a room with a plush red couch along with two other lounge chairs with a coffee table in the middle. It was strange, but you had come to know Kylo as a strange, secretive man.

One night, however, you made a mistake you would forever regret. After being inside of the same four walls for a month, on top of the smaller room you were in before your wedding, you were suffering from some pretty serious cabin fever. Luckily Kylo’s quarters did have windows for you to peer out of whenever you wanted, but you wanted some new scenery. You had noted that Kylo never told you that you couldn’t leave, but he never offered to show you around either. You had seen the hallways of Star Killer a few times now, and they all looked the same. 

But it didn’t stop you from courageously walking up to your husband as he readied himself for work one morning, standing tall and immediately speaking your demands. “I’m going out.” You said, confident enough in yourself that you could navigate the base to and from your home all by yourself. Kylo looked at you in the mirror, he was washing the sleep away from his face at the time--it was one of the few times he had actually looked at you in the past few months. You could count on two hands how many times he had actually made eye contact with you in the past 6 months or so. He looked back down at the white washcloth that he was running under the warm water, then began running it over his pale porcelain skin once again. “No one is stopping you.” He said, looking back at himself and only himself in the mirror. You consciously made an effort to turn from him before smiling and dashing down the stairs, throwing on your slip on shoes, and opening the front door, ready to embark on your great adventure.

Only issue, your adventure turned into a giant flop.

Two hours, four elevator rides, and an endless amount of corridors later, you were panicking. You wanted to ask for help, but each time you flagged a living organism down in the halls someone would recognize you as Kylo Ren’s appointed wife and simply keep walking. You huffed, this was even stupider than your marriage. Three hours, five hours, 10 hours, and you were still lost, had taken several small breaks when you found benches or empty rooms, but you were tired and hungry, you wanted to go home. 

Eventually the sun was down, a nearby clock read 10:23 pm and you thought all hope was lost for you. You hadn’t eaten anything all day, your feet were hurting, and you were angry that Kylo would let you go out like this all by yourself.  You scoffed, cursing him under your breath, what an uncaring asshole. 

“Are you lost?” A voice rang out from behind you. You turned around, immediately fascinated by hearing a live person’s voice in person for the first time in a year. It was a red headed man, a harsh scowl hung on his face and he looked generally annoyed with you being out of your own home. You played big and tough, didn’t want to let on to your helplessness. 

“I am, actually. Looking for…” You cleared your throat, you had never seen this man before and it seemed like he didn’t know of your status. You were afraid of him running away from you if you told him you were looking specifically for Kylo Ren’s home, so you thought very carefully about how you would proceed. “I’m looking for the commanding officer's residential block.” You felt like you should have explained a little bit more, some lie about a delivery or something but the only person that you knew for a fact lived in that hallway was Ren, you were too afraid it would give your facade away and make a mockery of yourself anyway. 

The man’s eyes flickered past you into the maze of hallways where you had come from, then back to you. You watched as he sighed then walked right past you, the words “follow me” coming out barely above a whisper. You kept your best poker face as you obeyed his command, inside you were cheering, you couldn’t wait to shower and fall asleep on your comfy couch, alone and in the dark once again. You figured you would sleep until noon the next day, and while Kylo was gone you would have to find a way to relieve the soreness in your legs and feet. All of these idle thoughts bounced around in your brain while you mindlessly followed this man and slowly but surely the hallways became more familiar. A feeling of peace came over you, and when you finally stood in front of a door that read “Commander Kylo Ren + 1” (You knew that plus one stood for you, and in any other situation you’d want a better representation of yourself. But you were fine with being a background character in Kylo Ren’s life.), you let out a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you so much!” You said, sticking out your hand to shake his. He took one look down at your small hand, then turned away from you with a frown. You dropped your hand, letting it swing by your side sadly as you watched him walk straight across the hallway and into the quarter across from yours. You read over his plaque: General Armitage Hux. He had no plus one on his door, he lived alone. You shook your head, that was none of your business.

You trekked up the stairs on your sore feet in the dark, your home was quiet and still. You thought that surely Kylo must be home, it was almost 11 pm. There was no reason for him to be out this late at night. Even if he wasn’t it didn’t matter to you, you’d gone to bed without him many nights before, this one would make no difference. You barreled into the bedroom to fetch your pajamas and were surprised to see Kylo was fast asleep in bed. He was on his belly, his arms hugging his pillows as his snores filled the empty air around you. 

Now you were the one who was scowling at him. That bastard knew you were gone, on your own in an unfamiliar environment and he still didn’t care. He went right to sleep while you were out suffering. You were angry, but had to stay quiet. It would do neither of you two any good to be angry at each other tonight, if you felt like confronting him you’d do it tomorrow. You simply grabbed your clothing and showered, wondering if it was worth it to argue with a person that you cared so little about and that cared so little about you.

 

\--

 

Kylo had been silently observing his “wife” for the entire year they had been married. It took him quite a while to get used to sharing his personal space with someone else. He enjoyed the fact that he got to keep his bed all to himself, he was sure she was feeling uncomfortable on the couch but what could he do? He figured if she wanted to sleep in the same bed as him she would ask. 

Most of the time she would still be asleep when he was leaving for work, but sometimes she’d be awake, cooking herself something for breakfast or doing sit ups on the living room floor. He always tried to stay out of her way, after all she never went out of hers to say good morning or hello.

That was, until they were about 8 months into their marriage. Kylo woke to the smell of something sweet, something doughy and something that just smelled delicious. He was confused, it was 7 AM and his wife wasn’t typically up at 7 am if she was going to be up at all. He sat up, stretching and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as to awaken his senses even more. There was also a savory scent about, he wasn’t aware that smells could be strong enough to travel this far from his kitchen to his bedroom.

He arose, stalked down the stairs until he was met with his wife standing over the stove. She had several pans on the burners and there was loads of food and ingredients on the counters. To Kylo it was a mess, but he had to stop and look at the whole picture: His wife was cooking several things at once, and she was doing it as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

She stopped and stayed completely still for just a second, then turned to face him. They looked at each other for just a moment before she turned her head back to what she was doing. “Good morning.” She said, neutrally. “Morning.” Kylo mumbled as he took a few steps closer to her. There were peppers, spinach, flour, a jug of milk, bacon, and a carton of eggs sitting on the counter beside her. “Where did you get this food from?” He asked, he didn’t mean for it to come out so accusatory, he hoped she didn’t think he was angry at her. She looked back up at him for a moment before cracking an egg into the pan and smiling. “I woke up around 4:30 and couldn’t sleep, decided to go grocery shopping and make breakfast.” How she was able to navigate the halls to the food shop and back on her own, Kylo had no idea. But he was secretly wishing he could try a small bite of whatever she was making for herself--he knew that she knew he never stuck around for breakfast.

“I am making an omelet and some pancakes…” she let her words hang in the air around them so ominously, like she had so much more to say to him but couldn’t find her voice. Kylo watched as she cracked another egg into the pan and scrambled them, he had never seen anyone make an omelet like this before. She added the salt and pepper then let it cook as she poured the homemade pancake mix into another pan, from the looks of it she had already made herself two pancakes. 

He was so mesmerized sitting there watching her cook, he had never seen someone cook like this in front of him, all of his meals came from the cafeteria straight to his bedroom. Watching her add the peppers, bacon, and spinach to the eggs as they cooked in the pan had him in some sort of trance--surely if someone is comfortable enough to cook in front of you that must say something about you, right?

She looked back up at him, side eyeing him as he had his eyes glued to her. “Do you want one?” She finally asked, it felt like a weight coming off of Kylo’s shoulders since he couldn’t find the courage to ask her for some himself. Kylo nodded once, not giving away anything more about his newfound interest his wife.

He watched her cook more food for another 15 minutes or so before she plated his food and handed it to him. Without looking she took hers and walked past him to the dining table that wasn’t too far off, Kylo went from looking at her as she sauntered to the table, sitting down and making herself comfortable, to look at the plate of food in his hand. Sure, it wasn’t arranged perfectly like the chefs in the kitchen normally did for him. Sure it probably wouldn’t taste as good as the food he normally ate, but there was something so amusing about a home cooked meal that he actually got to see being made.

At first he wanted to eat in his bedroom away from her as they normally did when they ate dinner together, but he was drawn to her. She had done something for him that no person ever really wanted to do, other than his mother. She had cooked for him, she was looking out for him, making sure he didn’t starve before going into work for the day. This was a whole new experience, one that, against his will, drew him closer to his wife when he was least expecting it. He followed her footsteps over to the dining room where she picked up her eyes and met him, watching him as he walked around the table and sat in the chair directly across from her.There was silence as she dropped the fork, staring at him as he stared back at her, neither of them had no idea what they should be doing; This was the first time they had acted like an actual couple in the time that they had known each other. 

Kylo had decided that enough was enough, this woman lived with him and had proven to him that she could interact with him properly. The least he could do was start saying hello whenever he saw her, and maybe in return she’d make him delicious looking food more often. This was his wife, the woman he’d be stuck with for the rest of his life and avoiding her wouldn’t solve any of his issues.

There was just one thing he felt he needed to do first, before he could kill the past 8 months of solitude and move on with his new friend:

He reached his hand across the table, holding it out to her above her plate of food. “Hello, I’m Kylo.” He said, sounding silly for having to introduce himself when he knew she knew what his name was already. Funnily enough, the last time he had heard her name was at the altar, and he honestly couldn’t remember it even if he tried. He felt terrible about it now, now that he was accepting his wife as a person. 

“We haven’t been able to have a proper introduction.” Kylo hesitated, still waiting for her to shake his hand. He was worried she was thinking this was stupid, worried that she’d still want nothing to do with him even as he extended his arm out in peace toward her. She was nervously bouncing her leg, looking from him to his hand as she couldn’t decide what she wanted out of this situation. However, she seemed to relax a few seconds later, allowing a small smile to spread across her face as she lifted her hand from her lap and took hold of his hand, firmly shaking it in acceptance of his proper introduction.

She told him her name and Kylo let a smile bloom on his face as well, now that they properly knew each other maybe she’d be more open to him, would start talking to him more often. It was hard for Kylo to do such things, he hoped one day he could add her to the list of people he could be open with, right there next to the most important person of his life--so far. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been slow to update, ya girl's been sick and has had a lot going on. I've been working on my book most of the time, I really wanna get the first chapter published soon!  
> I've also started streaming Fallout 4 on Twitch in my spare time, check me out anytime: twitch.tv/jay2noir


	5. Chapter 5

“Oh please, Ren. Don’t tell me you’re becoming  _ attached _ to the woman now.” Hux asked, unable to hide the dread in his voice. The pair of men sat in Kylo’s lounge sipping on a strange wine that Kylo had imported, Louis the 13th. Kylo was currently rolling his eyes at Hux, regretting his decision to tell him about the recent interactions with his wife. Today marked one year Kylo had been married and he didn’t start to warm up to the woman until now. She cooked for him, brought interesting books and texts back for him to read, and had become a welcomed distraction for Kylo. He was too ashamed to admit it to her, but he had sometimes used her as an excuse to come home from work early, saying things to his colleagues such as his wife was ill and he needed to take care of her. He’d come home to find her safe and sound of course, working on a simple dinner or reading or just lounging around the house. Kylo was far too shy to say much of anything important to her after she made him breakfast, he’d simply just disappear into the background and observe her through whatever he was doing for the rest of the day.

“I wouldn’t say that.” He lied, swishing the amber liquid around in his glass and enjoying the soft noises of his wife’s shower coming through the wall. “When you live with someone for an entire year, you tend to grow closer to them. Even if it’s just a centimeter closer.” Hux laughed at him, setting his near empty glass down on the table. “So you poured her a glass of wine and pulled her seat out for her last night, that’s only getting a centimeter closer to her?” Hux was referring to the previous night that Kylo had described to him: Kylo had decided to treat his wife for no reason at all other than they were ‘celebrating’ their one year anniversary. He ordered the most expensive food off of the First Order menu system and the most delicious wine for the two of them. Even though they ate in near silence he still enjoyed her company.

“It was my one year anniversary, Hux. I felt like doing something special for myself.”

“And  _ her. _ ” Hux spat out her title as if it was poison on his tongue, Kylo could sense his unreasonable jealousy from across the table. “She’s my wife, Hux. I am not sure what you’re expecting of me.” Hux stood up, flexing his hands into fists repeatedly as his normally pale skin started to flush red with anger. “I thought you told me you weren’t going to take this wedding thing seriously? That nothing would come in between--”

“Stop it, Hux.” Kylo stood just as Hux did, walking right up to him and standing near chest to chest with him. “Don’t come into my house and act as if you have no manners. I made a promise and I intend to keep it, you don’t have to worry about that.” Kylo said to him, not meaning for the sentence to come out so harshly. He knew Hux could take it, though, he had spoken much more angrily to Hux in the past. The two men were deep into their stare off when the shower in the other room cut off, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. 

“She’s finished, you may see yourself out.” Kylo said, turning toward the door and stepping toward it. He had turned just in time to see Hux look down at the floor and shake his head disappointingly. Kylo was beginning to regret inviting Hux over to his home during his wife’s unusually long evening showers. She had told him once that she very rarely had hot water for longer than ten minutes back on her home planet, which is why she took hour long showers every evening after he got home. 

He watched Hux leave from the top of the stairs, and when he had finally seen the door shut behind him he let go of a breath, finally relaxing knowing the only people in his home where his wife and himself. He wasn’t sure what to do for the rest of the evening other than retire to his room, but he knew that his wife usually changed in there after her showers. The best thing for him to do was to just sit in the lounge and wait for her to finish, then he could go to sleep.

Walking past the bathroom, however, he had to stop. Stop and listen to his wife who was singing a sweet tune that he had never heard before:

_ “...only fools rush in. _

_ “But I can’t help, falling in love, with, you.” _

Kylo had stopped walking entirely as he stood right in front of the bathroom door, he hadn’t known his wife could sing so well!

_ “Oh shall, I stay?  _

_ “Would it be a sin? _

_ “Oh, but I can’t help, falling in love, with, you.”  _

Suddenly he heard small, wet footsteps making their way to the door. Beautifully sung words became beautiful humming as the door handle jiggled right in front of him. Kylo quickly darted a few feet to the open lounge and hid there, listening to his wife’s humming and movement to the bedroom like she was a siren who encapsulated him with her voice. Kylo was certain he had never heard such a beautiful voice before in his lifetime. 

_ Who is this woman? _

Kylo thought to himself, and how did he get so lucky to be forcibly married to her of all people? He had felt terrible for ignoring her all this time, especially now that he knew she was a respectable human being who wasn’t out to steal his power and belongings. His wife was the polar opposite of what he thought he would be getting from Snoke, Kylo found himself growing fond of her more and more each day. 

The humming continued from the bedroom and Kylo began to realize that standing there listening to her was silly. He was better off sitting downstairs, waiting for dinner to be delivered or for his wife to make something for him, he wasn’t sure what would be happening tonight. He sighed, putting his hands in his pockets as he ushered his way out of his lounge room only to be completely shocked as he rounded the corner.

His wife hadn’t closed the bedroom door all the way, it was open just enough for Kylo to see her standing there in front of the bed. She was completely nude, toweling off and oblivious to her husband standing there just observing her. Kylo couldn’t stop his eyes from roaming all over her body, he had never wondered what she looked like under her clothing until now. He didn’t know what to do with himself, she looked so perfect, so beautiful, so sexy. Memories raced through his mind of every time he had managed to see her entire body fully clothed, not once did he imagine her without clothing. He licked his lip, he didn’t know what he was missing.

She began singing once again as she turned her body a fraction toward the right, not wanting to be caught essentially peeping on his wife Kylo moved as quick as he could toward the stairs, he couldn’t admit to himself that he was also becoming quite attracted to her physically.

 

\--

Brushing your teeth before bed had only become a habit after you began living with Kylo. On the night of your one year anniversary with Kylo you were standing at the sink brushing away just like every other night you were with him.You were staring at yourself in the mirror thinking you were looking healthier than when you lived with your parents. You had gained some weight from eating so much good food, your hair had more shine and was less dehydrated, and your skin seemed to glow and shine much more than it did back at home. Maybe coming to live within the Order hadn’t been such a bad idea after all. Maybe it was all the time spent in the showers that was fixing what ailed you. The first night you turned the water on and it came out smoking hot you were convinced you could stay there forever. Although, you were embarrassed when you exited the shower and saw you had spent a whopping hour and a half just standing there enjoying the luxury.    
You finished up your nightly routine and decided now was the time to retire to your trusty couch for the night. Tomorrow would be the same old same old, nothing new to look forward to so you might as well just end the night as quickly as you could. You opened the door as you shut off the light, but when you turned around you found yourself yelping and jumping almost out of your own skin. Kylo was standing right at the threshold of the door as soon as you opened it, he wasn’t doing anything other than staring right at you, as if he had been waiting there for a while now.

“Hi, sorry, you frightened me.” You said, placing your hand over your rapidly beating heart and laughing some of the embarrassment off. Kylo on the other hand was as still as a beautiful statue, not reacting at all to your fear of him. You composed yourself as you looked up at him, realizing you may be in trouble for something and that’s why he was being so quiet. “Sorry, Kylo. You know, you could have just come in-”

“I was just going to ask you if you wanted to sleep in my bed tonight, with me.” Kylo cut you off swiftly with a phrase that you were not expecting in a million years. You shut your mouth so quick and fought the look of confusion off as well as you could, but you knew it probably wasn’t good enough. “It is our one year wedding anniversary, you know.” He reminded you gently, it was still such a shock to you. “Oh.” You said looking back up at him, feeling your cheeks heat up. Did he mean it? Did he really want to fuck you right here and right now? “Well, I mean the couch is pretty comfy…” You said, trying to figure out if he was actually going to give you a choice or not.

“You can say no, I won’t be upset.” Kylo cut in once again, ruining your train of thought. “I feel bad that you’ve been sleeping on a couch for an entire year. You deserve better than that.” Something about that sentence struck you as quite odd, why was Kylo so worried about you all of the sudden? “Oh.” You said once again, not knowing what to say back to him. It was nice of him to be thinking of you, but this was just a new experience in your newly wedded life, you didn’t know how to handle this new, caring side of Kylo.

“Well?” Kylo asked impatiently, you had to come up with an answer and fast. The bed did look quite comfy, nice and soft and cozy. Maybe you could just try it out for one night, there was no reason why you couldn’t change your mind and sleep on your beloved couch if Kylo made you feel uncomfortable. Besides, Kylo had proven to you that he didn’t want to hurt you, he wanted you to be comfortable with him at the end of the day. You trusted that he wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t want him to.

So there you two were, completely silent just like you were for the majority of your marriage, sitting in bed and adjusting yourself under his heavy, comfortable covers. Kylo stood to the side, simply observing you as you wiggled around in his bed. You had come in here often thinking about just lying in the soft, beautiful bed when you got the chance, but you didn’t want to risk the chance of upsetting him. You were happy to have waited until you were invited into his bed, now you only hoped you and him could avoid as much awkwardness as possible.

Once you had settled yourself down you looked over at Kylo who was still just staring at you. You smiled, feeling bad for essentially having to invite him into his own bed, but once he took notice of your approving smile he began moving toward the bed, stripping himself of his black shirt and simply throwing it to the floor next to the bed. You watched as he seemed to move in slow motion, adjusting himself into the bed just as you had. It was then you realized that this was the closest, most intimate moment you had ever shared with Kylo. Nearly every other time you had seen him he was in his regular clothing and so were you, but now you were both in your sleep clothes; you in your light shirt and pajama pants and him in a white shirt and grey sweatpants. It was as if both of you had shed your outer shells and were about to finally let each other see the vulnerable sides of one another. 

Ren was busy burrowing himself under his own covers so you just decided to sit still and look around his room. There was a desk in the corner, a tablet and some papers strewn across it, small round tables on each side of the bed with square lamps on each, and that was basically it. Kylo wasn’t one for decoration, but that was okay because neither were you, really. 

Suddenly something white appeared in your peripheral vision, causing you to jump and look to your left. Kylo was staring at you, same scowl that he normally carried on his face, only this time he was handing you a pillow, one that seemed to have come from his side of the bed. He was holding it out for you to take, yes it was clear that Kylo wanted you to be as comfortable as possible while sharing a bed with him. With a small, shy smile you took it from him, placing it on top of the one pillow you already had behind your head. 

“Thanks.” You said to him, finally laying yourself all the way down and pulling the covers up under your chin, ready to sleep. As you were closing your eyes you heard Kylo clicking the light off and settle himself down to rest as well. Everything seemed perfect, the covers, the bed, and your bedmate. You were just about to fall into the best sleep you had ever had in your life when you heard Kylo say, barely above a whisper: “Good night, wife.”

One blissful night in Kylo Ren’s bed had you waking up more energized than ever. You could have sworn it was the first morning you woke up with an actual smile on your face. Kylo was still sleeping next to you, on his back just like how he had gone to sleep. You thought it was odd until you realized that you had slept on your back as stiff as a board as well, not wanting to accidentally encroach on Kylo’s personal sleeping space. Truth be told you were worried more about him rolling over and accidentally touching you, since this was his bed and he was used to sleeping in all of it. But as you sat up and watched his chest rise and fall peacefully, you realized he was just as aware of your personal space as you were of his. This was wonderful.

Normally you would hop right up and find something to eat for breakfast, but since you were so drowsy and felt the need to simply lay back down and go back to sleep you decided that some quick yoga moves in the empty space between the bed and door would do you well. Kylo was knocked out anyway and yoga was generally a quiet activity, you weren’t worried about waking him up. So you stood as quietly as you could, stretched and cracked your bones just a bit before dropping to one knee, stretching your other leg all the way out behind you, arching your back and raising your arms above your head. The Warrior pose, your favorite pose as it stretched out your back and leg muscles. You closed your eyes and just breathed, taking in the quiet noises of Kylo’s breathing around you.

Today would be a good day, a good day that would end in another great night sleeping next to your husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it seems like everything is going great for our pair, plus Hux. But just wait till you see what happens next chapter lol.


	6. Chapter 6

 

By far Kylo Ren’s favorite time of the day had become when his wife slinked out of bed as quietly as she could to do yoga in front of the bed. The first morning she had spent stretching in his room followed the first night she had spent in his bed. Kylo was a light sleeper, and his sleep that night was especially fragmented due to the fact that he had to sleep so still to stop from getting too close to her. He felt the bed move that morning and the first thing he did was open his eyes and follow her from her side to the bed to the front where she dropped to one knee, put her arms into the air, and stretched her other leg behind her. 

Kylo had never seen such a thing, had never taken the time to stretch his body out like she was presently doing in front of him. He wanted so badly to sit up and ask what she was doing, but he thought better of it. His wife was enjoying herself, he thought she wouldn’t want to be bothered with his questions on a topic she already knew so much about. He decided he’d be content with watching silently until she had hopped back up and, still facing away from him, stretched out her neck just a bit and happily pranced out of the room. As he heard her footsteps dance down, Kylo couldn’t repress his smile. 

His wife was so mysterious. They had cohabitated with her for over a year, spent one night in bed sleeping peacefully next to her, and yet Kylo knew next to nothing about her. She seemed so innocent and so lovely, he just wished he could get to know her better. What makes her tick, what her favorite thing to do was, what she wanted to do in life, how many children she wanted, and what her past was  _ really  _ like. He sighed as he sat up, stretching out his neck just as she had no more than five minutes ago. He wanted to grow closer to his wife, the woman he would spend the rest of his life with, but always grew upset and agitated when Hux would pester him about it.

 

He didn’t actually grow the courage to ask her about her routine morning stretches until a week into their agreement to share the same bed. She was standing in front of the bed facing away from him, her hands open and palms touching far above her head while the sole of her right foot rested on the side of her left knee. He had seen her do this pose one or two times before, it was one of his favorites. He had decided he couldn’t wait any longer, he had to know what she was doing every morning.

He whispered her name, not wanting to startle her and cause her to fall and harm herself. Her breathing or stance never changed, she was so focused on what she was doing that Kylo worried momentarily that she hadn’t heard him. He opened his mouth to grab her attention once more, but as always she surprised him.

“Yes, Kylo?” She said, still not moving one centimeter. Kylo wondered if he should continue with his question, his wife was obviously in her zone just like she had been every other morning and he felt bad for disturbing her. “I had a question for you, but never mind you look busy.” He said, putting his arms above his head and trying to get comfortable back in bed 

“Go ahead, I’m not busy.” She said cheerfully, as she did she fell out of her position and turned to face Kylo. She had a warm and welcoming smile on her face, Kylo sat straight up in bed as he admired her. He had always thought her smiles were extraordinarily gorgeous, and he had only been seeing her smile for the past few months of their marriage. 

“What is all of this called?” 

“What is what called?” She asked back. “This…” He wasn’t sure how to proceed, he still had no idea what she was doing and didn’t know how to accurately describe her movements. “This, that you do every morning in front of the bed. What is it called?” He ended up just waving his hands in front of him in a weak and comical attempt to make her realize he was talking about her morning routine. She chuckled, but Kylo felt far worse when her face became quite red and her mouth fell open. “I’m sorry, did I-do I wake you every day? I can do it downstairs I can-”

“No, no. It’s alright. You don’t wake me.” As they typically did, they had a silent stare off while his wife’s embarrassment faded from her face, Kylo would have to work on his social skills to stop making his wife feel so terrible. “I just want to know what it’s called. The way you move your body and the way you breathe, it looks so relaxing.” 

“Oh.” She said, a shy smile once again reappearing on her face. “It’s, it’s nothing really. Just something I do from time to time.” She looked down at her feet, then back up at Kylo as she seemed to snap out of her both tranquil and shy state. “Should I make breakfast? You’re up early enough to eat with me if you want to.”

“No, that’s alright. I want to know more about what you do.” Kylo tried his best to smile back at her, to show her that she was genuinely interested in what she was doing. “It’s called yoga. It’s just a way you move and stretch your body to relax and to concentrate on things like spirituality and to just…” she shrugged, then smiled at him once again. “I don’t know. I do it cause it feels good. Makes me more conscious of my own body” 

Kylo lifted his brows at her explanation. Yoga, concentration, body consciousness, relaxation. All things that Kylo should be interested in. “It sounds interesting. Are you spiritual?” Kylo jumped at the opportunity to learn more about his wife, even if it was this one small tidbit of information he would cherish it for as long as he knew her. “No, I’d say no. I’m not religious or spiritual at all.”

“So then why do you do yoga?”

“Because I was taught to do yoga in high school when I was kinda rebellious. It really did help me and I just never stopped.” Kylo tried to keep his amusement with her answer internal, but a small giggle escaped his throat. He could tell that the girl had a troubled past, had reached into her mind on the occasion to see her drug history, her terrible relationship with her parents, and, what always broke his heart, the struggle she had to come to terms with her obvious kidnapping.

It was especially strong at night right before she fell asleep, he didn’t have to pry too hard into her mind to see the image of her boarding the ship to Star Killer, losing her suitcase and the photo of her parents on the ramp, and then the time she spent in the tube. He felt so terrible for her, he almost wanted to go back to those responsible for her mistreatment and punish them accordingly. Especially on the nights where he could feel her be so upset she’d cry. He hadn’t felt or seen her cry at all since he invited her into his bed, he wasn’t sure if it was because his presence comforted her or if she just wanted to put on a show of bravery for him.

“Why don’t you try, Kylo?” His face fell to one of insecurity at his wife’s suggestion. He was wearing his very lose sleeping clothing but he knew for a fact he wouldn’t be able to manipulate his limbs into the positions like she could. He wasn’t as flexible as she was. “Oh, that’s alright.” Kylo said as he swung his legs over the bed, ready to get up to run and hide in the bathroom. “Why not? It won’t hurt you I promise.” His wife had begun to walk toward him, happy as ever to try and involve Kylo in her regular morning routine.

“I’m just not that flexible, I won’t be able to keep up with you.” Kylo said, worried. “That’s why there are basic positions as well.” She said just as cheerfully, she seemed so excited to have her husband take part in her favorite activity.  Before Kylo knew it she was reaching for his hand and they had their first physical interaction. Her hands were so much smaller than his, but she still confidently took his in both of hers and began pulling him to his feet. Kylo couldn’t help but to smile as well, even though he was embarrassed at his own thoughts of him doing what she does on a regular basis.

“Please? I’ll teach you, you’ll grow to love it just trust me!” Kylo found himself now standing hand in hand with his wife in his own bedroom, a song and dance he never thought he’d be performing with anyone in his life. It took him so long to be able to be comfortable sharing his entire living space with her, but now here they stand less than a foot away from each other, and she was about to open up and show him a little piece of her world.

\--

 

You stood Kylo at the end of the bed facing the wall just as you did every morning. This was probably the proudest moment you had ever had in your life, teaching someone else how to do the thing you loved the most was going to be awesome. You looked up and saw Kylo towering over you, you hadn’t taken the time to appreciate his height--the man had at least half a foot on you. He looked down at you, looking kind of unsure at what you were going to have him do. You thought about simple moves that involved very little stretching and balance, the one you were doing when he interrupted you was easy, but you worried about him toppling over and getting upset with you. 

You thought some more, then remembered one move your yoga instructor had taught you in the very beginning. It was a move meant to calm you down when you were angry or frustrated. It was a move to make you stop and focus on yourself, to repurpose your emotions to something better. It would be perfect for Kylo, especially when he had one of his infamous tantrums. 

“Okay, so this is actually the first move I’ve learned.” You said as you lifted your arms up into the air, you were quite disappointed when Kylo didn’t follow suit. “Come on, it won’t be that bad.” Kylo blinked at you a few times, if you didn’t know any better you would think he was afraid of something. “Just lift your arms in the air just like I did, take in a breath as your arms go up and then let it go once your arms reach the top of your head. Close your eyes if it helps.” 

You looked up at Kylo as he finally took your advice and closed his eyes, you had to step out of the way of his arms as he slowly lifted them above his head. Once he had them above his head you smiled as you watched his breath exit his body, his chest falling right before your eyes. You smiled as you followed his lead now, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to relax alongside him.

“How much longer? My arms are hurting.” You cracked your eye open, looking over at him who was now staring impatiently at the wall. You lifted the edge of your lip in a half smile, patience is taught with yoga, you were sure Kylo would learn. “Now, you’re going to place your hands on your belly and feel yourself breathe. Watch me…” You said, ready to show Kylo what to do next. “Take your arms, down and out, then rest your palms on your diaphragm.” You opened your eyes and saw that Kylo was actually moving close behind you, watching you between slits in his eyes. You smiled proudly at him, and once he had his palms on his diaphragm you told him to just stand there and breathe, be in tune with his body and mind. 

You did the same once you were certain Kylo was doing it right, and after you felt twenty minutes passed you were ready to move onto breakfast. You opened your eyes and dropped your hands, now feeling a lot less stressed and just generally happy that you could teach Kylo Ren, the Commander of the First Order, the Master of the Knights of Ren, and finally, your husband something new. 

But he didn’t move. He was still standing there with his hands on his abdomen just breathing. You were happy that Kylo was enjoying himself, but you didn’t want him to think he had to be doing this because of you. “Kylo, are you ready for breakfast?” You asked, stepping out in front of him. He looked so peaceful, so concentrated, you could instantly tell that the valuable skill you had taught Kylo would be greatly appreciated and would help him immensely. “If it’s alright with you I’ll just stay here.” You smiled at him, yes, you had finally done something useful for the Order.

 

Time passed and soon you found yourself venturing out while Kylo was at work more often. Sometimes he’d join you for morning yoga and sometimes he wouldn’t, but every day right after he left you’d find yourself roaming the halls of the Order, the same halls that all looked the exact same during your first few days. To see if you could find a change of scenery for your yoga, which you were now into more than ever after teaching it to Kylo.

On your first day out you managed to come across an indoor pond of sorts, something you would never think you could find in the order. It was a small pond, like a koi pond but with no koi. It was surrounded by giant grey walls and had two benches on each side. Inside of the pond was a small waterfall, you couldn’t imagine what the Order would need this for. It seemed so out of place, secluded behind the library in a room that seemed like just another meeting room. In fact, had you not been curious and been opening all the doors you would never have found it. Regardless, you still decided this would be the place. You bent over into the downward-facing dog position, the sound and smell of the water immediately helping you find your center.

 

On the fourth day of your little “yoga retreat” you were very rudely interrupted. While you were deep into your King Pigeon pose, a pose where you were held up on your forearms and knees while your head nearly touched the ground, the door flew open and there was a bunch of chatter from the people walking through. You lifted your head to see three helmetless stormtroopers, two men and one woman. They had one book in their hands each and were happily looking at both their books and each other, giggling as if you weren’t there trying to concentrate on your yoga.

When they finally noticed you were in the room, all three of them at once got the same shocked expression on their faces. “Oh! Sorry, Mrs. Ren. We didn’t-” The girl in the middle stammered, the two men began walking out, clutching their books to their white armor as if they would protect them from whatever you were afraid of.

“No worries, I was just finishing up actually.” You said, moving and manipulating your body out of your pose, then to your feet. “I wasn’t even aware other people came in here.” You said, chuckling and hoping it would put these people at ease. You didn’t realize that, because you were married to Ren, people would be afraid of you, you felt horrible. “Oh, yeah sorry. We ditched work kinda early for our break.” She smiled, the two men still just stood behind her ready to run at any moment. 

“Well, I’ll leave you guys to it then. Have fun on your break!” You said, you could tell you were making them uncomfortable by being there in “their” space, the best thing for you to do was to just leave them alone. You had had enough anyway, ready to return home and have some lunch.

The 5th day you showed up at the pond the three storm troopers showed up early again, the redheaded woman with freckles, a man with ear length blonde hair and bright blue eyes, and a man with shorter brown hair and what seemed to be a lip piercing. They each still had their books but today they seemed happy to see you. “Good afternoon.” You said as you fell out of your pose, this time you were getting kinda annoyed with them showing up early as it cut into your yoga time. 

“Morning Mrs. Ren!” The girl said as all three of them made their way past you and into the pond. “Good morning.” You said, trying to hide the irritation in your voice. You wondered if you held the power to tell them to fuck off, to tell them that this was  _ your  _ pond now and they weren’t allowed to interrupt you like this. 

“Please, don’t mind us. We’re just going to read our books, it’s what we do on our break.” The girl, you called her the ‘pack leader’ in your head, said with confidence as all three sat on the bench like happy school children. You awkwardly smiled at them, not exactly wanting them to be in the same room as you reading while you were doing yoga. They may make too much noise, make take pictures of you, may bother you in some way, shape, or form. It wouldn’t be worth it, you just gave them a smile and said you were all finished anyway, ready to retire back home and maybe perform a few more poses in peace.

“Oh, no please stay!” The girl said, sticking her hand out to you. “You don’t have to go, we were just…” She looked to the man with the blue eyes, a worried expression on her face. She gulped, licking her lips for just a second before continuing. “We just wanted you to teach us, that’s all.” 

Your eyebrows knit down as you processed what the trio wanted, and when you finally realized that they wanted you to teach them, just like the way you were teaching Ren, you grew excited and eager at the same time.

You spent a week teaching them, coming to the pond when their breaks started to teach them how to do yoga like you, it was so much fun. They enjoyed it, always had smiles on their faces and they were great listeners, very flexible, and very eager to learn. All four of you were having a great time until someone new decided to enter the enclosed pond, someone you weren’t expecting to see at all.

Your husband stood towering over everyone who was sitting on the floor, their hands on their knees breathing deeply in and out. All four of you opened one eye, then in unison opened both of your eyes at the same time. Eight sets of terrified eyes were on your husband and it didn’t seem like it would be a good situation. Ren’s face was unreadable as his hands sat curled in fists at his sides, you didn’t think right away that he would be angry but your three impromptu pupils seemed to think otherwise. 

The man with the empty lip piercing started to sit up real fast as if he was ready to run out the door, by now you knew anyone on the base that was not you or the General was terrified of your husband. You started to move out of the way of the door for the man so he didn’t trample you, you understood that if Kylo was going to command all of these people to get out of this room there was nothing you could do to stop him.

But Kylo surprised all of you. He held his hand up to the man struggling to leave which caused him to stop moving, he simply sat there on one knee, both of his palms braced on the floor ready to dash if Kylo got violent. They stared at each other, you thought it was amazing that Kylo didn’t have on his helmet, you even wondered if your three storm troopers had ever seen him without it. “Stay.” He simply said, then everyone watched him walk around the crowd and sit down crossed legged just like the rest of them. He looked to you and only you at first for instruction, and as the man with the empty lip piercing settled back down into position you smiled at Kylo. Maybe you really were changing things around the Order for the better.

 

\--

 

Ever since his wife had taught him how to handle his anger with yoga and breathing exercises Kylo found himself spending a lot of his working hours alone. Per her advice he stayed away from most things that angered him, such as other people and the equipment that malfunctioned on a regular basis. If something did set him off he would try his best to make his way to a quiet, lonely place to try and work his way through his emotions instead of just blowing up at whatever and whoever was around him. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. This time in particular, it did.

Kylo was standing in front of a window that showcased how the bigger sets of machinery worked on Star Killer base. He watched the cogs spin and the embers from metal grinding on metal fall. He watched the generators shake and the droids move around while they assessed the equipment. It was so calming to him, especially since he was also taking the time to breathe just as his wife had taught him, grounding and centering himself to focus on him and repurposing his angry energy.

That was, until he heard a set of loud footsteps coming right toward him from behind. “Yoga. Yoga? Really?” Kylo closed his eyes and let out a largely disappointed sigh. Why did Hux have to be coming and bothering him now?

Hux placed a hand rudely on Kylo’s shoulder and spun him around to face him, he was angry. “You were doing  _ yoga  _ in the pond room with three of my men and  _ her _ ?” Kylo had nothing to say to Hux. He was treating him as if he wasn’t allowed to spend any free time with his wife at all and it disgusted him. However, the time he took to meditate had calmed Kylo down quite a lot and he didn’t think he had it in him to yell at Hux at the moment, so he simply just let him speak to Kylo however he wanted to.

“I overheard two of my troopers talking about how they did  _ yoga  _ with Kylo Ren and his wife on their breaks. Do you know how ridiculous that is?” Hux was yelling, Kylo just simply gawked as the anger built up inside of him. Did Hux even know what yoga was and how beneficial it is?

“Your fucking mail order bride thinks she can just prance around my fleet and teach them things that aren’t in the storm trooper program and it seems that you approve because you were doing it along with her!” Kylo blinked at Hux, then simply turned to look back at the heavy machinery behind him. Hux wasn’t even worth the energy.

“I’ve already placed those three storm troopers on probation and put out a new law: No more yoga. That includes you, Ren.” Hux said, walking around Kylo and looking at him like he was his prey. “Even though, if you wanted to learn yoga that badly you could have come to me. I’ve been doing yoga for years now.” Hux purred in Kylos ear, running the back of his gloved hand down Kylo’s cheek. He closed his eyes, he had always welcomed the feeling of the warm leather of Hux’s clean gloved on his bare skin.

“But instead you went to  _ her _ .” Hux removed his hand so quickly Kylo flinched, Hux had never hit him before but, at the same time, Hux had never been this angry at Kylo before. “This is getting out of hand, Ren. It seems like you’ve put her above me when you’ve assured me how many times now that this wouldn’t happen?” Hux pulled Kylo toward him once again, this time placing both of his gloved hands lovingly on Kylo’s face. They looked each other in the eye, Kylo could almost see the hurt in Hux’s blue eyes. He did make a promise to Hux that he intended to fulfill, but this was before his wife, this was before he had gotten to know her better. He didn’t think he’d be this into his wife when he first spoke to Hux about his arranged marriage, and now that he was getting to spend this moment with him he did recognize it as unfair. 

Kylo sighed, it was him that was falling in love with another person, not Hux. It would have been a hell of a lot easier if Hux was the one falling in love with another man, Kylo wouldn’t have any problems cutting any and all ties with his past lover if that was the case. But Kylo just couldn’t help it, he was so drawn to his wife and could tell he was falling head over heels in love with her, even as he was speaking with Hux he couldn’t wait to make it back home to spend time with his wife, his love for her was always changing, evolving, and growing. 

“Why don’t I show you what she can’t give you. Let me take you back to your home and show you what that little girl can’t.” Hux said as he reached down the length of Kylo’s long, muscular arms and to his own gloved hands, taking it into his own. “You’re a fool, Armitage.” Kylo said as he snatched his hand from Hux’s. “She’ll be home within the hour, there’s not enough time.” 

“We’ll make time. You always make time…” Hux said as he once again took Kylo’s hand in his, this time a little too forcibly as he pulled Kylo toward his home. “For your lovers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, surprise.  
> Author update: Tomorrow is Baby Jams first birthday on top of it being Easter and April Fools day. I won't be writing too much tomorrow or the next day, but keep an eye out for another update shortly after!


	7. Chapter 7

You stood around the pond with your foot in your hand, stretching out your leg behind you. Your three “students” (four if you counted Kylo) were late today, it was already ten minutes after the time they normally showed up. You worried, they weren’t always punctual but they had never been more than a few minutes late. Should you start without them? Should you stay for the regular time and do yoga by yourself? It was a tough decision, but you didn’t want them to think you had abandoned them if they showed up. You had decided to give them another ten minutes, if they still didn’t show then it would probably be best to go back home. Truth be told you had been coming down with a cold, you had thought about trekking down to the pond room and canceling your class but didn’t want to be selfish. But now, as your nose begun to run and your body shivered with the chills, you decided it wasn’t worth the wait. You weren’t sure what happened to storm troopers who got sick, but you were sure they wouldn’t get any time off. You fell from your pose, shamefully wiping your nose on the back of your sleeve and moving toward the door. You were sure your students wouldn’t mind and you would be sure to come back at normal time the next day after you rested up today.

Sluggishly you made your way through the halls, taking it one step at a time. Not only did you have the chills but the body aches had begun to rack your body the further away from the pond room you went. You hated colds, although they didn’t plague you very often when they did they hit you hard. Your eyes were drooping and watery, the rest of this week would sure suck.

You walked into your quarters, Kylo always kept your home cold and the cold air stung your sore nostrils. You shivered once again, wrapping your hands around yourself. You wanted to shower. A shower would warm you up and start the healing process. Then you could come back down stairs and make yourself some chicken soup. You slowly climbed the stairs, reminding yourself of the recipe and how to make chicken soup. You needed chicken, carrots, water obviously…

Half way up the stairs your heard something odd. It sounded like a slap, a harsh and loud sounding slap coming from your bedroom. A slap against some flesh, Kylo was home from work early today. But what the hell was he doing slapping himself around? Your eyebrows furrowed, this was odd.

You continued to ascend the stairs, all too curious as to what your husband was doing in your room. Maybe he was doing yoga in some strange position and harmed himself, a near silent grunt coming from the bedroom suggested that’s what was going on. But even that seemed strange, however, because Kylo had never overexerted himself when he did yoga with you, you had never heard him make noise during your shared yoga sessions before.

Nevertheless you continued your way to the top of the steps where grunts form your husband became louder, mixing with sounds from him that could be considered moans and some dubious wet and fleshy noises. It should have been obvious to you what was going on behind the door from the noises alone, but of course your judgment was clouded with your illness. Also, you were under the impression Ren didn’t talk to anyone else in the Order, or at least not in  _ this  _ way.

You reached the top of the stairs and didn’t have to move any further to see what was going on inside of your own bedroom. The first thing you saw was a nude man with bright red hair, he was sitting on his knees on the bed facing away from you. He sat between the naked knees of someone else, you watched as he brought his hand up and it came down loudly and forcefully onto that same person’s ass. It didn’t take much imagination to know who was being spanked, but either way your jaw fell to the floor when the redhead bent at his hips and revealed a full head of thick black hair at the head of the bed. Kylo. It was your husband Kylo. Your husband was currently seated on his hands and knees with the man, Armitage Hux from across the hall, at his backside while the both of them were stark naked. 

The shock hit you like a blow to the chest, and after you got over the fact that you were watching your husband get intimate with another man you realized why Hux had leaned down. His face was now buried between your husband’s butt cheeks, the noises you heard while you were coming up the stairs were the start of your husband getting his ass eaten. 

You gulped as you watched Hux’s hand disappear between Kylo’s legs, assumed he was stroking your husband’s cock while he shook his head back and forth in his ass. Was this really happening right now? 

Kylo arched his back and stretched his hands over his head, moaning loudly at the stimulation that you didn’t know he needed or wanted. “God, Armitage. Please, don’t stop.” Yep, that was definitely Kylo’s voice. Hux’s hand sped up between Kylo’s knees and the entire hallway was filled with your husband’s calls of pleasure, you took it as your cue to leave.

And leave you did. You stomped angrily down the stairs, not giving a damn about if the two men heard you. Trying to contain your anger you left through the front door and back out into Star Killer base, this was so ridiculous! The two men were going at it as if this had been going on for a while, like for the entire time you and Kylo were married. Kylo had basically been cheating on you the entire time, and you could have sworn Kylo had been falling for you! At least that’s what it seemed like; The way Kylo had been paying more attention to you, the way he wanted to do yoga with you and your students, the way he complimented you and how he wanted you to cook for him instead of the kitchen, you were really starting to get the idea he was starting to  _ love  _ you.

You had no destination, you just wanted to go somewhere away from your husband. Your nose was running, your throat was hurting, and you were starting to get so worked up. About 15 minutes into your angry walk around the base you realized you were acting jealous, jealous of a man that you didn’t even want in the first place. You ran away from him on your wedding day, you avoided each other for nearly a year at first. You slowed as your next thought crossed your mind: Why would Kylo even want to love you? 

He knew you weren’t a virgin, he saw you actively avoiding him that entire year, he saw you sleeping on the couch and, if he knew you weren’t a virgin, he likely also knew your medical records weren’t clean either. Why would the most exalted member of the First Order want you? A cheap slut that he had no choice in marrying? You set yourself up for this, you should have known something like this would happen. In the middle of a secluded hallway you stopped, giving into your sorrow and allowing a few tears to slide past your eyes. You had thought you were becoming important to him, you had even found yourself hoping to find yourself in his bed in that way. But no, he didn’t want you. He didn’t want his wife. He wanted that man, you likely meant nothing to him.

You stood there and cried, cried until you realized that this is exactly what your parents wanted. They wanted you to exist in the background of a man's life, they wanted you to be in second place, they wanted you to fail. They wanted you to be unhappy and now their wishes were coming true as you stood here feeling sorry for yourself. Your tears of grief turned to tears of anger as you violently threw your arm to the side and turned around, you weren’t going to let your emotions get the better of you. Think through the situation, think through it logically. Kylo doesn’t care about you, he obviously didn’t care about your feelings about him either. He wasn’t going to love you, you now had no obligation to love him. You snarled as you realized you had given up your sex life to be his “wife,” too worried about embarrassing him by having a story come out about his wife cheating on him. But now? Obviously it didn’t matter to him if he were willing to cheat on his wife.

You smiled, you were free now. Free to sleep with whoever you wanted to. Why should you wait until Kylo was ready to have sex with you to have sex again when there were so many men and women that you were sure would be willing to fuck you? You immediately thought of the man from your yoga class, the man with blonde hair and a lip piercing. He was the better looking of the three and the one you’d bed first if you had the opportunity. 

Well now you were making the opportunity for yourself, they had told you they all shared a dorm block in the 33rd dorm hall, block B. With a smile on your face you started walking toward the elevator, wiping the tears from your eyes you decided this would be the start of a brand new, beautiful beginning.

 

\--

 

Kylo sat in bed waiting for his wife to join him. She was not home when he returned from work and he didn’t find her in her usual spot at the pond room, now it was going on midnight and she still hadn’t returned home. He worried, the last time she had pulled an all-nighter away from home he hardly cared. But now was different, now he wanted to know what she was up to and what was keeping her from home for so long. Was she hurt? Was she kidnapped? Was she drunk? Kylo had absolutely no idea, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep without her.

Even after the quickie he had with Hux that afternoon, Kylo was sure he wanted his wife by his side. He had told Hux that this would be the last time, that he was feeling guilty about it when he was drawing closer and closer to his wife. Hux wasn’t happy of course, but oh well. This was Kylo’s life not his. He wanted to spend more time with his wife and try and move their relationship in the direction he wanted. He wanted to love her, and he couldn’t love her while he was essentially cheating on her with Hux.

Kylo got up and dressed quickly, he had to know that his wife was safe on the base somewhere. He checked the cafeteria, the library, the gym rooms, and the pond room once again, she was nowhere to be seen. He checked the hangar and pulled the flight records for the last 24 hours and found no suspicious aircrafts coming in or out, none that would have carried his wife away from him. He sent out a message to everyone with a datapad requesting any information on if anyone had seen his wife, everyone who replied had said no.He put out a message to keep an eye out for her and sighed in defeat. He hadn’t a clue as to what happened to his wife and he likely would not find out tonight. He was tired, his thighs still hurt from the fucking Hux laid on him, he just wanted to sit down and rest.

He returned home and stripped down to just his undershirt and his boxers, he sat on the couch and stared at the door, ready to welcome his wife when she came back home to him. No music, no TV, nothing but the small lamp next to the couch and his own, worried thoughts.

 

His head shot up several hours later at the sound of the front door opening and closing. His neck was hurting from sleeping sitting up, but nevertheless waves of relief and joy flowed through his body at the sight of his wife walking past him and toward the stairs. “Hey, where have you been all night long?” He asked, his voice dripping with concern. She didn’t even bother looking at him, all she said was “out” before heading up the stairs. 

“Out where?” He questioned her, jumping up to follow her to wherever she was going. He was just concerned about what she had done, if she had been safe all night long. He grew worried when the scent of alcohol filled his nose as he followed her into the bedroom. She continued to ignore him, instead stepping into the closet to retrieve her sleeping clothes. He gingerly said her name as she pushed past him into the hallway once again, following her to the bathroom where she slammed the door in his face.

Kylo sat worriedly in the sitting room next to the bathroom, rubbing his clothing so much he was sure if he went any longer he’d create holes in his garments. Why was his wife so upset with him? What had he done to make her act so coldly to him. She didn’t even act this cold when they had first met, if anything this was the way he treated her. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, his hand in his right palm, he was nervous. Had she found out about him and Hux? No, surely not. There was nothing to tie him to Hux at all, no messages, no photos, nothing that she could have stumbled upon to even suggest he was sleeping with Hux. Unless she happened to come home early yesterday?

No, that was out of the question too. His wife had a strict schedule she liked to keep, to at least that’s what Kylo wanted to think.

The shower shut off and shortly afterward his wife appeared, hastily making her way toward the bedroom where she made a beeline toward the bed. Kylo watched numbly as she stripped the sheets, throwing them and the pillows behind her before once again going to the closet with clean sheets. 

“What’s all this about? You know someone comes to clean the house once a week.” Kylo asked, already getting defensive over her actions. She said nothing in reply, simply finished refreshing the bed. When she was finished she had balled all of the “dirty” sheets, pillowcases, and blankets up and made her way to Kylo where she passive-aggressively pushed the pile into his chest, causing Kylo to stumble backward just a step. “Put these in the dirty laundry.” She said to him, reaching for the door to slam it in his face again. Kylo caught the laundry and was able to stop the door with the toe of his boot, pushing it back open and catching his wife’s gaze for the first time since she returned home. “Hey!” He said, raising his voice slightly to hold her attention. “What’s the matter with you, why are you so angry?”

Kylo could have sworn he saw the slightest smile appear on her face momentarily. She set both of her hands on the door and began pushing against his foot, Kylo had never had anyone so blatantly go against his wishes like this before. “Because I want to nap. Goodbye.” She said, it was clear to him that would be the only response he’d be getting. His wife was obviously upset about something, and far be it from Kylo to try to pry further into her tantrum and only anger her further. Not when he wanted so much more from her than she knew. He removed his boot from the door and allowed her her privacy. If he wanted him to leave her be then that’s what he’d do. Maybe after spending so much time away from him she’d be happier and more open to discussion after he returned home from work.

Or at least Kylo hoped, because he’d do anything to see her genuine smile again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut next chapter, be ready.  
> Also, I apologize for the poorly written m/m, it was my first time writing such a thing and I found it to be quite difficult lol.


	8. Chapter 8

When you were sure you were alone in your bedroom, the first thing you did was immediately drop your pajama pants and get yourself off. Last night was probably one of the best nights of your life. You managed to hunt down your student's dorm block yesterday and spent the entire evening there with the trooper with the lip ring. You found out his serial number was JO-7524, but halfway through the evening you ended up just calling him Joe. He was confused, a little hesitant to let the Commander’s wife into his quarters so late at night but you convinced him it was because you had missed him during your yoga class. You told him you wanted to do yoga with all three of them, but the other two troopers in his block didn’t want to join. 

He let you in, but of course very little yoga was done.

He caught on quickly and before you knew it you were straddling him in his small, storm trooper bed. You bounced on his cock as eagerly as you possibly could, a years-long dry spell finally coming to an end for you felt so incredibly good. Your fingers were splayed out over his sweaty chest while his hands settled on your naked hips as you milked him for everything he could have offered you until you were all tuckered out on top of him, resting your head right below his chin and nearly falling asleep on top of him.

“Wow.” Was all he said to you. You smiled, you had always been told you were good at this kind of thing. But the night wasn’t over yet, it most certainly was not. It was only about 8 PM, you were sure you weren’t wanting to go back to your home where your cheating husband would be. You sat back up, running your fingers through his hair as you kissed him politely on his lips before brazenly asking: “Do you have any alcohol?”

The two of you got wasted, drinking for hours and making jokes about everything in the Order, you’d laugh especially loud when either of you would make a joke about your big nosed, elephant eared husband. It was going on midnight now, and unfortunately alcohol always made you horny.

The entire night the both of you switched from drinking to fucking until Joe could fuck no more and passed out on the floor in his closet, you had fallen asleep on his knees as well. His alarm went off in the other room and he groaned, rubbing his forehead and saying something to you about calling off of work. You smiled, you were in the same shape as he was but still told him you’d be heading out for home. He begged you not to leave, that he wanted to have some more fun since he wasn’t going to work, but you figured there was no use. You didn’t want Kylo worrying and sending people after you. You didn’t think you could live down the embarrassment if someone came breaking down Joe’s door and found the both of you naked and sweaty on top of each other.

So now here you are, having probably your 5th and 6th orgasm in the last 12 hours. Your hands were a mess of your own cum and you felt so sweaty once more, maybe you should shower again before sleeping. You rolled over, your thighs squashing and sticking together in your post orgasmic bliss. A proud smile settled on your lips as you eyes began closing involuntarily, nah. Maybe later.

You were awoken a few hours later by your husband shaking your shoulder, softly whispering your name in your ear. When you finally pried your eyes open and were able to focus on him, you were met with a face of concern. “You’re awake.” He said, smiling just a bit. You rubbed your eyes, your nose once again started to run and the fog that was your drunken night cleared over your body aches, now you were sober, sick, and still angry at Kylo. 

“Leave me be.” You said, turning on your side facing away from him and snuggling down into the bedsheets again. You heard Kylo straighten up and take a step back away from you, you were once again proud of yourself and your newfound power over your husband. “But it’s dinner time, I thought you’d want to--”

“You know, I’m sick Kylo. I don’t feel like cooking for you right now.” You sniffed as obnoxiously as you could to get your point across. “Okay, well what should I order for dinner?”

“I don’t want dinner. I want to sleep.” You said bitterly, biting your lip to contain the small, satisfying giggle that was making its way out of your throat. “Alright.” Kylo said, sounding disappointed. He probably thought the two of you would happily sit at the dinner table and happily eat the dinner that you happily cooked for the now happily married couple, even though he had been sleeping with someone else probably during the entire duration of your marriage. The thought made you livid and you bit down on your lower lip, what an asshole.

As soon as he shut the door the sat straight up, having finally slept away your entire hangover you were now ready for your next sexual assignment. You had a slimy smile on your face as you dressed as fast as you could, you practiced your best ‘I’m cheating on my husband and love every second of it’ smile. This was great, this was amazing, revenge sex would go down in your book as the best type of sex.

You freshened up on the bathroom and made your way down the stairs where your husband was sitting by himself eating a plate of your favorite First Order kitchen dinner: Filet Mignon with asparagus and brussel sprouts on the side. His eyes met yours and, for just half a second, you thought about having dinner with your cheating husband. His look of hopefulness as he stuck a piece of tender, juicy meat into his mouth made you so angry that you nearly changed your mind that instant. But the smell, the sight of the meat and vegetables, it was so tempting.

“I thought you might come down, I ordered you a plate.” He said to you, pointing his fork to the empty chair where you normally sat for dinner. You stood completely torn, you hadn’t eaten anything since before your big discovery yesterday and your stomach had begun growling as soon as the scent of the seasoned veggies filled your clogged nostrils. You knew you didn’t want to dine with him, but it might be worth taking the food with you to your students home? 

You shook your head, both as an answer to his suggestion and to your question. It would be giving into his kindness and you definitely didn’t want that. Instead you sauntered your way to the door, swaying your hips as a way to convey to your husband that you were on your way to get some dick and you would enjoy every second of it. 

“Wait!” He called out to you, you turned around just in time to see him standing from the table and holding his arm out to you. “My wife,” he started, you bit back the urge to roll your eyes at your title that obviously meant nothing to him. “Where are you going?” Your chortled at him, looked down at your flats and turned toward the door. “Out.” Was the only answer you decided to spit at him before sashaying in your light blue sundress out the door. “Don’t wait up.” You shouted as the blaster doors shut behind you, then you sped walked all the way to where your lovers lived. 

This time it was blondies turn to have you for the night. You felt that Joe would be the reckless one, due to the empty lip piercing which you wished you had been sober enough to ask about last night. But as it turned out, TL-4180 was wild. The very first hint you dropped about fucking, the way you sat so close to him and caressed his pants, he took it without any hesitation. 

He ate you out from behind and you couldn’t help but to feel a little like your husband the day you caught him cheating on you. When you had came he wasted no time in laying a brutal fucking on you doggy style. He had you screaming his nickname, Teal, out loud and proud the entire time he was inside of you. By the time he was done and his seed was shot deep inside of you, making you cum once more on his cock, you had collapsed in sheer exhaustion into his bed. You had felt terrible for being unable to move to make room for him, but for one the bed was so tiny he wouldn’t have been able to fit with you anyway and two you were sure your legs would be out of commission for the next week. Your thighs burned and your knees were weak and shaky even as you sat there on your side, man, that guy was for sure good in bed.

Morning time came and you once again found yourself doing the walk of shame back home. Your hair was out of whack and you knew you were doing the “I just got dicked down” waddle, but you didnt care. All you wanted was a shower and some peace and quiet in your home. You weren’t sure if you would be able to nap while at home today since Teal had slept on his small recliner and let you sleep in the bed, but that was no bother. There were certainly other things to do besides sleep, as soon as Kylo was off to work you’d lounge, waiting impatiently for the evening when you could slink off back to those dorm blocks once more. 

You walked into your home and was faced with nothing. Kylo wasn’t sitting on the couch waiting for you like you expected him to be, he was nowhere in sight. You trudged upstairs as normally as you could--you weren’t quite ready for him to know about your sexy escapades yet. It was 6:30 in the morning, you knew he wouldn’t have left for work yet. 

You slinked your way into the bathroom where you leaped enthusiastically out of your clothing and into to the warm, comforting shower water. You smiled as you felt the tension you had been holding in your muscles fall, this little song and dance was so much fun you felt it should be criminal. When you were finished you stepped out and wrapped your sore body in a towel, it had been a good 45 minutes or so since you had entered the shower, you were certain Kylo would have left for work already. 

And you were right. After peeking into your own bedroom to make sure there was no unwed sexual activity going on you made a beeline for the closet, dressed in some casual clothing, then went downstairs to go about your day without your husband around. 

 

\--

 

Kylo was worried sick about what his wife had been doing the past two nights. She had been so vague and so cold toward him all the while disappearing to who knows where all night long. Kylo feared the worst, that she had gotten involved in some vandal storm trooper antics or with drugs or was habitually leaving the base everynight. He shuttered, he cared far too much about her for her to be into that kind of trouble every night. Kylo wasn’t going to approach her about it, however. He felt like it would create a volatile situation where the both of them may end up unhappy and yelling at each other. 

Truthfully, he just wanted his wife to go back to the way she was. To allow him to watch her do yoga and to speak so softly to him about what she did that day. He wanted to sleep next to her and know that at least one person was willing to spend time with him, one person that was not Hux who only wanted Kylo for his body. When he slept so soundly next to his wife he knew she was comfortable with just his company, and he loved hers. He wanted to see her smile and wanted her to be happy. At the moment he didn’t know if she was happy, he didn’t know if she was safe, and while she was gone all night he feared endlessly over the consequences of what she was doing.

By the second lonely night he had enough. By the time he awoke that morning she was in the shower, and Kylo had a feeling that she wouldn’t want to speak to him. She shrugged sadly, wishing he knew what was upsetting her so much. In the back of his mind, the fact that he had been with Hux had been weighing on him. They had been married for over a year, and in that entire year Hux was at his home while she was in the shower, while she was sleeping on the couch and while she was out doing her own thing. If it wasn’t everyday then it was every other day, or every three days. Kylo wasn’t sure, but he knew it was often and the guilt was growing on his shoulders, especially when she was being so distant. She couldn’t possibly have known, have caught them any time in the last few weeks. Even the last trist they had was so short, Hux didn’t even cum that day. Kylo shook as he lifted his tablet into his lap, worrying would not make the situation better.

Instead, he put out an email to the head of security in the Order. He wanted an undercover team to watch his wife at all hours of the day until he said otherwise. He knew it wouldn’t be what she wanted or liked, especially if she found out she was being watched, but he figured if he caught her doing drugs or leaving the base and was able to correct the problem swiftly and quietly it would be the best outcome for both of them. When they messaged him back the two of them came up with a plan, that an undercover security agent would be posted outside of their door dressed as a plainclothes officer. When she would leave that evening they’d follow her at a distance and act like they were just doing rounds on the base. Should anything seem suspicious or illegal they’d report to Ren right away.

Kylo left for work that morning while she was still in the shower and, sure enough he caught sight of an officer standing nearby. Stationed around the corner they were standing facing the corridor where his “neighborhood” (that consisted of his quarters, Hux’s, and Phasma’s) began, as if they were guarding the residential block that housed the most important members of the First Order. Knowing his wife would at least be looked after while he was working put him at ease, he just hoped that she would stay out of trouble.

 

\--

 

There was only one person left in that dorm block left on your revenge list, and that was the redheaded girl. You were elated when you left the shower and saw that your husband had gone to work without bothering you, now all there was to do was relax for the rest of the day, then visit your three favorite people when night time finally rolled around.

 

Hours passed, you had taken the time to throw a little bit of makeup on and dress up in one of your nicer dresses because you knew it drove women wild. You smiled as you checked yourself out in the mirror, you looked smoking hot! You flipped your hair as one thought ran through your mind: What would Ren think? Would this be the straw that breaks the camel's back? Is this where he would draw the line? Would you see his anger unleashed tonight

Your hands came crashing down to your sides as an even bigger smile rested on your lips. Who cares? You said nearly out loud. If he hits you then that would be a great excuse to just leave him right? To rat him out for the terrible aldurterer as well as spousal abuser he is? Of course it was. No big deal, there was nothing that could go wrong. You collected up your tube of lipstick and stuck it into your black, lacy bra to use for later, just in case you get a little too kiss heavy and end up leaving some behind.You needed to make sure you looked classy after the deed was done.

You walked as fast as you could on your high heels down the stairs and through the living room to get to the front door as quickly as possible, Kylo had been home for an hour but still hadn’t said anything to you and you wanted to keep it that way. However, your plans were dashed as soon as you turned the corner to head in the direction of the front door. You could see Kylo standing at the kitchen counter doing something you hadn’t seen him do in the entire year that you had known him: He was cooking.

“Evening.” He said without looking up at you, you couldn’t stop yourself from taking one step toward him just to see what he was making. He seemed to have sensed what was going on in your mind (The Force was a wonderful thing), because as he moved some veggies and chicken to a pot of boiling water he once again spoke to you. “You aren’t feeling well. I’m making chicken soup for you.” His face was neutral the entire time, even as he stirred the contents of the pot. You swallowed as a way to check if you were still sick, of course your throat was still raw and sore. 

“It’ll be ready in ten minutes, why don’t you have a seat at the table? I’ll bring you a bowl when it’s ready.” He was speaking so softly to you, you almost fell for his false act of caring kindness. Even though you had wanted to make some soup for yourself the day you found out you were sick, the smell of the boiling water mixed with the chicken and vegetables was very tempting. You could almost feel the relief as you swallowed the warm liquid, coating your inflamed throat and alleviating your discomfort for the time being. It was almost enough to say yes.

“No, I’m going out.” You said, turning toward the front door, now hyper aware of your runny nose. Kylo followed you, you could hear his footsteps stepping out into the carpeted hallway after you. “You don’t want any soup?”

“No, I’m alright.” You had gotten the door open just enough to slip your body through, and as you did you could have sworn you heard Kylo yelling out to try and stop you. Oh well, you thought to yourself. Off to have some more sex, off to teach him a lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing this story so much! I wrote this chapter instead of chapter two for my book and it'll probably be that way when I finish the next chapter of one of my other works too lol. I hope you guys are enjoying it as much as I am!
> 
> Fun fact, Teals trooper serial uses the 4th and 18th letters of the alphabet.


	9. Chapter 9

You had made it to your student's dorm block with your heels clicking proudly behind you. Even just thinking about what you were going to do with that girl made you so wet, the look on Kylo’s face as he watched you walk away made you even wetter. This whole thing was so silly, but so much fun. The best part was you didn’t feel a shard of remorse for anything you were doing. So you continued your walk down the hall to the dorm block, an unbothered smile sitting proudly on your lips.

When you turned the corner into the actual three-door dorm block you were surprised to see both Joe and Teal standing outside. “Mrs. Ren, you did come back!” Teal said while Joe punched his shoulder, teasing him about how he told him so. “Yeah, I’m back, came to see the girl though.” Joe shot a puzzled look over at the only door you hadn’t gone into in the last three days. “Oh, PF-0629?” You nodded your head as you walked up to her door and began to knock. “Wait!” Joe shouted, walking up to you and grabbing your hand. He pulled you against him and purred in your ear, you were under his spell now for sure.

“She’s not really into women, sorry to break the news.” He dropped your hand and ran it down your back, Teal joined as well, running his hands down your shoulders. Now you were sandwiched right in between the two of them in the small corridor, you were so horny and you could feel Teal was too. “But we are, obviously.” Teal whispered in your ear, nibbling at your earlobe and sending goosebumps soaring all over your skin. “Come, let’s go have a good time.” Joe said against your neck as he sucked bruises into your skin--this would surely make Ren angry.

“Man, get out of here!” Teal said, abruptly pulling away from you and looking at Joe annoyed. “I’m getting her tonight.”

“You got her last night, it’s my turn.”

You couldn’t believe that these two men were fighting over who would get to fuck you tonight. You rested your hands on Joe’s shoulders, who still hadn’t let go of your waist, and giggled at the both of them. “You guys are terrible.” You joked, Teal stepped out from behind you and was looking to you for your decision. Truthfully if you had to decide you’d have to go with Teal because your thighs were still burning from the ferocious sex the two of you had last night. But why did they think you had to make a choice?

It didn’t take long for them to catch on. You found all three of you in Joe’s little bed, you were lying down flat with Joe's cock shoved all the way into the back of your throat while Teal was fucking you at the opposite end of the bed. It was a no brainer about who you’d be sucking off, you didn’t want to be shouting Teal's name like the previous night, lest you wake up the girl next door. So the two men were moaning while you were screaming around Joe’s cock, fondling his balls at the same time and holding onto Teal's knee for dear life. He was fucking you so hard Joe barely had to move his hips to fuck your mouth, Teal was doing an excellent job at moving your body for you. It wasn’t your first threesome, but it was the first threesome you had in a long time that wasn’t awkward and uncomfortable.

Joe had decided to finish on your face this time, and just seeing his pearly white cum on your skin threw Teal over the edge as well. He came inside of you and as he did your body was rocked with an orgasm from the hands of two men that weren’t your husband, and for a moment everything was pure bliss. You realized that you were happy here on Star Killer base, you were happy before catching your husband with Hux of course, but now you were jubilant. You were having fun with people you knew and liked instead of just sitting in Kylo’s home all day long, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

“What’s this all about anyway?” Joe asked you. It was around 3 AM and the three of you had decided not to continue your sexual adventures in favor of some light drinking. You had a feeling it was because Joe and Teal didn’t want to see each other cum, but oh well. It would be up to them not you, and besides Teal had left you sore and stiff once again. Even if you wanted to go another round with either of them you didn’t think you could.

“What’s what all about?” You asked, downing your third shot of whiskey. “All this. Why are you coming to fuck us every night? Did you want this from us on the first day you met us?” You giggled, feeling a bit buzzed. “Well, did you want this from _me_ at the very beginning?”

“Hell no, you’re the commander’s wife! We were terrified of you.” Teal cut in, he was sipping on a regular old can of beer. You looked down at your lap, thinking about how people are afraid of you once again. You didn’t care, you didn’t want anything to do with Kylo at all. “To answer your question, Joe…” You poured yourself another shot and raised it to him with a wink, sort of as a toast for the last three nights you had spent over here. “My husband is a jackass. He’s a jackass and I hate him with all of my being.” You took another shot, squeezing Joe’s shot glass out of anger, any harder and you felt like you would have shattered it in your hands. You took another look at Joe, admiring the hole in his lip. “Change of subject, is that a lip ring hole?”

Joe laughed as he felt his lower lip. “It is.” He said, pouring you yet another shot. “Your dick head husband made me take it out when he kidnapped me into this terrible place. I hate him too.”

“He took me when I was a child, I don’t even remember life before the First Order.” Teal said, you shook your head as you realized none of you were in the Order by choice, Kylo Ren really was a terrible person. You lifted your shot glass into the air for another toast: “Fuck the First Order, fuck Kylo Ren, and Fuck General Armitage Hux” You nearly shouted, Teal and Joe followed your command and lifted their glasses to yours. You all drank to your misery, at least you were all miserable together.

 

You woke up the next morning on the kitchen floor, snuggled up in Teal's arms. Once again it was Joe’s regular old alarm clock that woke all three of you, but because you had gotten absolutely hammered last night it sounded like an entire marching band of cymbals running in through one ear and out the other. Joe and Teal both got up and started to get going while you sat on the floor and thought about how you were going to make it back to your home. Not only were you hung over to high heaven like the first night you were with Joe, but you were sore from the waist down just like the night you spent with Teal. The two feelings put together left you feeling dead on the inside.

You sat idly on the ground as you watched the two men get up and get ready to go down to roll call, you still felt sick to your stomach and didn’t feel like you could move. Teal came by and gave you a loud kiss on the lips before heading out the door and to his own room, told you to have a good day and to steer clear of Commander Tantrum Ren as you nicknamed him last night. You smiled, still kinda groggy and unable to say anything else.

“Oh, by the way.” He said, ducking back inside of Joe's door. “I’d appreciate it if you stopped by medbay and got an emergency contraceptive.” Your ears perked up at the mention of Plan B, the last three nights you had fucked both of these men raw and it never occurred to you to get some kind of birth control.

 _Fuck._ What if you were pregnant? You were sure Kylo would have you and these two men killed if one of them knocked you up, especially since the idea was for Kylo to get you pregnant, that’s what this whole wedding thing was about anyway. “That’s a good idea, I guess.” You said, trying your best to rise to your feet. “Can I just go and ask? Will they give it to me or do I need to be checked out first?” Teal shrugged his shoulders, then disappeared through the door. You looked over at Joe who had the same unapologetic look on his face, he was probably thinking the same thing. You moseyed on over to his bathroom where you tried to put yourself together a little bit before heading out since you’d actually have to interact with people, then made your exit; all but promising Joe that you’d see him again that night

 

\--

 

Kylo had been following his security agents notes all day long. He followed her across the base, into the storm trooper dormitory areas where she stayed all night long. Kylo feared the worst, she was doing drugs with some bad seed storm troopers, drinking alcohol all night long and ignoring him. His heart broke, he would have those storm troopers killed for corrupting his wife! Kylo wondered if he should go to where she was and confront her about it, but he figured that would just make her angry and push her even further away from him. That was the last thing Kylo wanted, he just wanted his wife back.

He continued to go about his night and work day until he got a particularly worrying note from the officer:

_Come to medbay, I can’t explain what’s going on._

 

At the time Kylo was receiving a report from an officer about a mineral that was recently mined and was on its way to the Finalizer, but as soon as his eyes fell over the words “medbay” he immediately dropped what he was doing and walked as fast as he could toward it. He was terrified, had she overdosed? Gotten harmed? Gotten raped? He couldn’t imagine what had happened to his wife and he wanted nothing more than to be there to support and help heal her. So with his heart pounding in his chest he walked 20 minutes all the way to the medbay , sweating and worrying the entire way there.

The security officer met him around the corner, Kylo tried his hardest to shove right past him but he had some words to say. “Now, Commander, I think I should let you know what I observed before--”

“Nonsense.” Kylo said, he didn’t care what the man saw or why he was looking at him with such a worried expression. He didn’t care what happened, he could get all of that information after he was reunited with his wife. “C-Commander! Please, just--” Kylo ignored his pleas as he rounded the corner, his wife was his number one priority right now and he didn’t care for what the man had to say.

But when he laid eyes on his wife who was standing at the pharmaceutical counter seemingly waiting for some medication, he wished he had taken the time to have let the man explain himself.

Her dress looked torn down the side, he could see what looked like hand print like bruises on her bare skin and it _seemed_ as he if she was not wearing any underwear. Her hair was disheveled, the little bit of makeup she had on when she left the house last night was now gone, in fact he could see some of it smudged upon her top lip. What really made his jaw drop and cause his blood to boil was the large, unhidden, black, blue, and purple marks on her neck. All around her neck like a necklace, if Kylo didn’t know any better he would say she had been choked, but he wasn’t a clueless virgin. Those were hickeys, his wife was wearing several hickeys in her skin. Hickeys that he had not given her.

He shouted her name from down the hall, she as well as several others turned their heads toward him. She was smiling as she looked on at the Pharmacist from behind the counter, but when her eyes fell on him and his angry stance, her smile immediately disappeared, replaced with an angry grimace. Kylo started to stomp toward her and she began hastily speaking to the pharmacist, who, as Kylo got closer to the pair, ducked behind the counter in fear. His wife looked over the counter and sighed, rolled her eyes as she turned away from Kylo and tried her best to get away from him.

“Stop!” He shouted once again, but she kept walking and ignoring his rage. He sped his gait up and soon he was grasping her by the shoulder and forcibly spinning her around. He didn’t want to harm her, but from the pained look on her face and the way she flinched he could tell he was losing the battle with his anger.

“What is all this? Why are you dressed so hideously?” He started, shouting so loud that people were coming out of the medbay to see what was going on. “Hideously? Kylo, leave me alone.” She said, flipping her hair and trying to walk away from him. As she did the tear in her dress moved, revealing the side of her bare behind. Kylo’s cheeks turned red in embarrassment and anger, what the hell was _his_ wife doing out in public with no underwear and giant hickeys all over her neck?

“Why don’t you have any underwear on? And who the _hell_ gave you those bruises on your neck?!” She turned around with a severe look of displeasure on her face, waved her hand in front of Kylo’s face and began her retaliation.

“Why the fuck does it matter to you, huh?” As her hand returned to her side Kylo noticed a bottle of yellow pills in her hand, his concern grew ten times over. He snatched the pills from her but she held on tight, bringing her free hand up and grasping his wrist, pulling with all of her might to keep the pills a secret. Kylo finally managed to pull the pills from her small hand into his and was able to read the label: _Levonorgestrel, take one no more than 72 hours after intercourse for prevention of pregnancy_

By now Kylo was floored, he was red from the bottom of his neck to the top of his ears. He knew there was a crowd drawn, he knew there were multiple sets of eyes on the two of them, he knew his wife looked as if he had been having sex with someone who wasn’t him all night, and the pills just confirmed it. He took another look back at the pharmacist who was peeking just above the counter, when he noticed his gaze he once again dove under the counter.

“You’ve been sleeping around? Behind my fucking back!?” Kylo couldn’t control himself or his loud tone, his arm came up and he was throwing the pills right at her, they went plummeting right into her eye and she had held her hand up a little too late. At the time it didn’t matter to Kylo, he couldn’t believe his wife do such a thing.

“Yeah! I’ve been fucking other dudes. In case you couldn’t fucking tell!” She was shouting right back at him, didn’t even so much as look at the bottle of pills that was currently rolling away from her foot. Kylo was livid, he couldn’t believe what was going on right in front of his face. He wanted to yell and scream, to destroy everything and everyone standing in this hallway. But he couldn’t, he had to control himself.

“Why?! Why would you cheat on me like this? You’re _my wife_!”He shouted as if he was 100 percent faithful to her, he could feel some angry tears beginning to work their way past his eyelids. “And you’re my fucking husband!” She said, kicking the pills at him. “Don’t act like you haven’t cheated on me. This isn’t fair!” She said, taking a step toward him and punching him right in the chest, Kylo stumbled back in shock. No one had ever been brazen enough to lay their hands on him during a heated argument like this. “Don’t fucking talk to me like you don’t cheat! I saw you, I saw you with that guy, Hux!”

Kylo’s face of rage began to morph into one of shock and horror as the words tumbled from her lips, he felt as if his stomach dropped ten feet in his own body. “His tongue was so far up your cheating asshole I bet he could taste what you ate for breakfast!” There was a collective gasp that surrounded them, Kylo’s worst fear had definitely come true. She had seen, she had known all along that Kylo had been unfaithful. And this was her way of getting vengeance on him.

Kylo felt like he could collapse right then and there from the embarrassment. Here he was creating a scene with his obviously scantily clad wife who was buying an emergency contraceptive pill to prevent a pregnancy that he did not create. They were yelling at each other, he found out she was cheating on him for cheating on her, and this was all his fault. Everyone around them now knew that he and the General were having relations behind his wife’s back, Kylo could barely stomach the shame. The tears that fell from his eyes burned his rosy red cheeks, he felt as if he were going to vomit.

“Who did this to you?” Kylo asked between his clenched teeth, he needed answers and he needed them this very second. “Why does it matter? It happened didn’t it?” An evil smile spread across her mouth, a smile that he had never seen before, it made the fine hairs on his arms stand in fear. He knew what was about to come out of her mouth would hurt him and his reputation, but he let her speak anyway. “I had one guy get me so drunk before fucking me, had another one eat my pussy so good the only thing I knew how to say was his name.” She laughed, she fucking laughed at his pain. Kylo was so hurt and broken he almost stopped her right then and there, but his wife was angry, she needed to vent and she obviously didn’t care about Kylo’s feelings at the time.

“You mean to tell me…” Kylo was shaking now, his jaw quivering more and more with every word he whispered to his wife. “That this has happened more than once? With more than one man?” His wife bent forward and displayed the proudest grin on her face, showing her teeth like she was a child. “Absolutely!” She said with a joyful nod of her head. “Three times, really, every night for the last three nights. Last night I even had them both at the same time and I _almost_ had a woman too.”

More gasps, at least now she was talking in a normal tone of voice. Kylo was so humiliated, so broken, and so ashamed of what he had created. Had he just come out and told her he was currently sleeping with Hux when they first got married he felt like he could have avoided all of this. But no, here they stood on a battlefield in the hallways of Star Killer base, arguing about a very personal issue with a large, ever growing audience. Kylo could take it no more, it was bad enough that she felt it was okay to be speaking to him like this, but it was even worse that it was it was in front of so many people. If she wanted to berate him and flaunt all of her stories of adultery off to him, that was fine, he felt like he deserved every word and lewd description coming from her mouth, but he could no longer accept it with other people watching.

“Come, let’s go home.” He said with a heavily defeated sigh, he turned around and began walking in the direction of their shared living quarters. “Go home? With you?” She scoffed, and he turned around just in time to see her roll his eyes at him once more. “No thank you, for all I know General Hux is there and just waiting to fuck you--”

In the fifteen seconds it took for her to start her sentence Kylo’s rage had built up again, he couldn’t stand her mockery in front of all of these people. He turned at once and charged toward her, cupping his hands around her mouth and forcibly dragging her with him toward their home. She was kicking and fighting him every step of the way, of course, and he expected no less. But he was determined to sort this out and sort it out as husband and wife, no matter what it took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could ya'll imagine being a storm trooper and being all caught up in this nonsense? Damn, I'd be sipping my tea so hard.


	10. Chapter 10

Kylo had dragged you all the way back to your shared quarters, his hand over your mouth stifled your distressed and furious cries for help. You had to force your feet to move along with Kylo, you had once sagged in his arms to try and anchor yourself to the floor, to get him to let you go and just leave you alone. But of course it was a failure, the only thing he did in response to your small act of defiance was to tighten his grip on your head; You’d rather make it to your home alive and well than have him break your neck and drag your corpse home instead.

When Kylo had finally dragged you through the front door of your home the both of you flew into a rage.It started out as him just asking you what happened and why you felt the need to treat him so poorly, but you refused to answer him. All you could think about was what a hypocrite Kylo was for getting on your ass about cheating on him. That entire year you had sat in his quarters like the good little housewife you were, you sat there and cooked for him, taught him yoga, gathered up the laundry, dishes, and trash for the housekeeping droids, and, most detrimental of all, you thought you were beginning to love him. Although you didn’t realize it until you caught the two men together, you loved him enough to sacrifice your own sex life for him. He didn’t care when you left the house in the beginning and it would have been so easy for you to find someone to fuck; But no, you saved yourself for him. 

And the worst part was it seemed like he was doing the same for you too, how he spent time with you and how he allowed you to sleep in his bed. But the second you saw into your own bedroom, the second you saw Hux sitting in between Kylo’s knees, you knew it was all an act. Kylo didn’t love you and he didn’t want you, so what was the point of keeping yourself for him anymore?

Like a child you put your hands over your ears and turned to walk away from him, everything after that was a blur. 

Kylo put his hands on you. He grasped your elbow and pulled you back to him, similarly to how he did with your shoulder in the halls, only you flew much farther than right in front of him. You flew past his rigid body and fell to the floor, holding your hands out in front of you to break your fall. Kylo was making rageful noises as he pushed you to the ground, and when you flipped yourself over you called him a bastard.

There was screaming, insults flying left and right as you made your way to your feet and began stepping away from him again. 

“ _ You’re so ungrateful!” _

_ “I wish you’d fucking die!” _

_ “I did everything I could for you!” _

_ “I hate you!” _

You were so indignant and irate, so annoyed and so enraged that you found you couldn’t control yourself. You looked behind you and grabbed the first thing you found on the coffee table, a half full glass of water, and chucked it at him. He jumped out of trajectory of the glass but still got covered in the water, you couldn’t stop the proud ass grin on your face as you watched him try to wipe his face dry with his hands. He looked angrier than ever, his face red and shiny with the water as well as the sweat that he had worked up yelling at you. He called you a bitch and, with that, the yelling match started once more.

_ “You aren’t even fit to be my wife!” _

_ “No one would ever willingly marry you anyway!” _

_ “You’re a whore, an immoral little slut!” _

At this point you began to cry angry, sullen tears. You didn’t know how you became this angry, it had been such a long time since you had become this enraged. Kylo wasn’t even as angry as you were, you were willing to bring harm to him while he was only willing to yell at you. As the two of you spit verbal fire at each other you found yourself standing next to a clear glass vase; you had known this item existed in your home on top of a small, decorative table, but it tended to blend in with the background and you never gave it much thought. However, today it would come in handy.

You took a moment from your rage to reach to your right and grab it with both of your hands. You charged at Kylo, fully intending to smash the damn thing over his head and end his life, you weren’t thinking clearly and definitely weren’t thinking of the repercussions of your actions. With the loudest screech you could muster up your brought it back behind your head and, when you got close enough, threw it forward toward his face with all your might.

Unfortunately for you, however, Kylo had seen it coming and managed to take ahold of your wrists before the glass made contact with his head. The two of you struggled against each other until he managed to knock it out of your hands, sending it crashing to the floor and causing it to shatter into a million pieces.

He held you against him, both of your wrists still in his hands. You were so close to his face you could see his look of fury clear as day, the wrinkles around the bridge of his nose, his eyes, and his neck, the blue and purple veins popping out out his skin. You were sure you were just as angry as he was and looked exactly the same.

Then he hit you.

He hit you with his fist right in the eye, right where your forgotten bottle of Plan B pills had hit you in the hallway. You stumbled out of his arms, covering your eye momentarily before looking back up at him. This argument wasn’t worth the fight or the hurt you knew he could cause you.

So you screamed, you screamed at him as loud as you could. You closed your eyes and you let all of your frustration and anger fly out from your throat and mouth. It was the only thing you had left in you to do, and evidently so did Kylo because shortly after you started screaming you heard Kylo following your lead and screaming at you as well. 

 

In a bizarre twist of events you later found yourself in the bathtub and Kylo was sitting on the closed toilet lid right next to you. After your screaming fit you were able to calm yourself down enough to walk away, to fill the tub, and to sink your body under the warm, comforting water. The lavender scented bubble soap heal your wound up nerves and started to relax you, but it couldn’t fix your raw and burning throat, a side effect of all the yelling that had transpired between your husband and you. You sunk down all the way down in the tub until your chin rested just in the water and you closed your eyes, you felt like you could live out the remainder of your life in this tub if you had to.

A knock on the door caused you to open your eyes, then close them again when Kylo shouted through the door, “It’s me.” You took a breath, what the hell did he want after the wild argument the two of you had?

You wanted to tell him to piss off, to leave you alone and to never speak to you again. Between the lies, cheating, and the yelling the two of you faced you were ready to jump out of this tub, file for divorce, and leave Kylo behind. It wasn’t as if he needed you, he had Hux to fuck him and love him. You were just getting in their way at this point.

But you didn’t, you told him to come in. Even if he was coming in to pick yet another fight with you, you knew you couldn’t handle it. He could stand there and yell at you while you sat in the tub if he wanted to, you didn’t have the energy to yell back or tell him he couldn’t come into his own bathroom. He opened the door slowly and tiptoed into the room with you, not bothering to look at you or even in your direction as he lowered the lid of the toilet seat and sat down. You lifted yourself further up in the tub, both of your arms sitting on the sides and watching him move, waiting for him to speak, but he never did.

Now here the both of you were, silent and calm just like how you were during the majority of your marriage. Kylo sat with his elbows propped up on his knees and his chin in both of his palms just staring at the floor while you sat in the tub staring at the wall above the faucet. All was well in this moment, you were even sure Kylo would have been willing to admit it.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to be close to you.” He apologized, his voice echoing slightly off the walls of the bathroom. “I missed you, when I got you back you were angry. I missed you the way you were before you changed.” He sighed, out of the corner of your eye you watched as he shut his eyes and lowered his head. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that he was remorseful of how he acted. You shook your head slightly, you hadn’t ever changed and he didn’t get you ‘back’ from anything But if that’s what he wanted to think who were you to change it? 

Several minutes passed and the two of you still sat in silence, it gave you time to reflect. In your humble opinion Kylo had acted terribly during your fight and he was further in the wrong than you were, but here he was. He was apologizing for coming into the bathroom to be with you, but deep down inside you knew that he was also apologizing for arguing with you. You stole another look at him as you realized that it must have meant  _ something  _ if he still wanted to sit here with you after he saw your untamed rage toward him. Maybe you owed him an apology too.

“It’s okay…” You started, swallowing as much of your pride as you could. “...if you love him.” You lifted your eyes to him and noticed he had finally looked up at you for the first time since joining you in the bathroom. “I know he came before me. I, I guess I was just being kinda selfish and didn’t handle it in the right way.”

“I don’t love him.” He said, coldly. You looked back down at the bubbles that surrounded your body. “He is just, he’s just there. Or, he was there.” You lifted your brows, all this time you thought that you were the one that was “just there” in Kylo’s life. “We needed each other at some point in our lives and grew close, but I never loved him. I was convinced I never could love anyone back then, so when Snoke decided I was to be married I wasn’t worried about losing him, or leaving him, or whatever you want to call it.”

You sat still and listened to Kylo’s sad tale about his lover, very skeptical about the phrasing he used about loving. ‘Back then’ could mean a lot of things, and it made you nervous as he went on.

“So you came along and, from the way you acted during our ceremony and on your first few months home, I was sure I wasn’t going to be able to love you either. I kept seeing Hux and had no remorse until I got to know you.” The look Kylo gave you made your heart stop in your chest, was this conversation really going to end the way you thought it was going to? 

“When you shared more and more about yourself with me, your yoga, your sleeping space, your history, I found myself wanting more and more of you and I wanted you for what you were: My wife. But, Hux had issues with it. He became angry and he started to berate me, the day you came home and found us together I told him that it would be the last time, that I wanted my wife and I wanted to be faithful to her.” You noticed that Kylo’s eyes had become quite glassy, he was about to cry and it was breaking your heart.

“Of course he wouldn’t accept that, and even after I told him to leave he messaged me and was telling me we would never work and soon I’d be running back to him and begging him to take me back, even though neither of us had ever stated we were a couple.

“I was so excited to get to know you more since I didn’t have the guilt of an affair weighing me down. During the workday I was thinking of ways I could spoil you when I got home, I wanted to take you for a walk around the base or for a ride in my personal TIE Silencer. I was so excited to have you and only you to myself, but you weren’t there when I got home.” 

Now you felt like crying with him, the day you came home and found him cheating on you had only saw what was on the surface. Had you maybe thought through the situation and confronted Kylo about it you would have found out what was going on instead of ending this atrocious part of your life in a blind rage. He had wanted you all along, but you had pushed yourself away from him with your arrogant actions. 

“I worried. I really worried about you those entire three days, and when I hired the officer to follow you Hux bothered me about it. He came up to me and asked me if my ‘hound’ was giving me a hard time. I couldn’t stomach his disrespect toward someone I cared so deeply about,  I turned and walked away from him and never intended to show my face to him ever again. The more I thought about it, the more I realized he saw what was going on between you and I and he was just jealous of the fact that he wasn’t the first person I gave my love to.” 

By now, the tears were coming quickly down Kylo’s face, but if you were just listening to his dismal story you wouldn’t be able to tell. He wiped his eyes as he looked from you back down to his feet and you knew what was coming next. You placed your hands on the sides of your head as you sunk back down in the tub, not exactly wanting to hear what he was going to say next. It would make you feel guilty for cheating on him, for putting him to shame in front of all the people in the First Order, and for arguing to fiercely with him. All of your disgusting actions had finally caught up to you and you felt extremely convicted once Kylo shyly uttered his next sentence to you:

“It was you, you are the first person I’ve ever come to love in my life. And damn, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went through and edited some errors in the last chapter, just a heads up.   
> That last scene has to go down in my book of heart breaking scenes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wedding number two, coming right up!  
> Only one more chapter left.

The minutes ticked by as you and your husband lay side by side, his arm tucked underneath of you as your head rested right on top of his shoulder. You knew that his arm would have been falling asleep by now, beyond the point of uncomfortable numbness, but obviously he didn’t care. You loved the closeness, the intimacy, and the newly discovered love that the two of you were sharing there in silence, something that neither Teal not Joe could have given you.

After Kylo confessed his love to you the two of you sat there in the bathroom, you were in awe of his tale of how he came to love you and about how he loved you even when he knew you were up to no good. You thought about what your walk around Star Killer base would have been like, what seeing his TIE Silencer would have been like. He loved you enough that he was ready to share more of his life with you, but you were off doing other things. Ultimately you felt terrible about the fact that Hux was bullying him over his love for you. By then Kylo had made up his mind that he wanted you for good, but Hux couldn’t accept that and tried to bully Kylo back into his position as his lover. It broke your heart, and your childish actions to seek revenge did nothing but make you feel even worse; You had basically contributed just as much to Kylo’s pain despair over the past few days as Hux had.

You had spent most of the day alone. When Kylo said it was time for him to return to work you had decided to exit the bathtub right after he made the decision. He wasn’t even out of the bathroom before you stood, looking down at your own body as the water droplets cascaded down your smooth skin. You knew that Kylo could have seen every inch of your body, but at this point why did it matter? Yesterday you were willing to bare it all to the entire storm trooper fleet and you had let two men have you raw, so what if another person, who had admitted to loving, you saw your body? He was your husband after all. He deserved to see you more than the two other men did, in your opinion.

Kylo was opening the door when he looked over his right shoulder and saw you stepping out of the tub. You were looking at him unashamed, waiting for his eyes to roam all over your body as if you were looking for a reason to dislike him after the mornings events. But as his honey brown eyes bore into yours longingly, you just found yourself falling more and more for him. He never looked down the length of your body, he looked at your face and nothing else. You smiled humbly, it was true, he loved you for you.

You tried to step aside of him and grasp a towel hanging from the towel rack, but he didn’t budge. Instead he reached to his left and pulled a towel off of the rack for you. You watched as he turned toward you, holding the towel up in front of your body. In one swooping motion he threw the towel above your head and let it fall down behind you, you shivered as you took in every second of the loving action. With a smile on your face you lifted your arms for him to bring the towel back around you, the look on his face conveyed the idea of trying to hold back his emotions by being emotionless. Looking down at your sternum he folded the towel into itself then tucked the edge into it, the feeling of his bare fingers on your skin giving you goosebumps in a way that made you squirm against him. As he finished tying the towel he lifted his eyes to you, it seemed as if he wanted to smile but was holding back for whatever reason. You were kinda sad, after already showing everything you had to Kylo he still wouldn’t drop all of his walls for you. But what did it matter? You were certain that, even if you weren’t hurt by his actions anymore, Kylo might still be hurt by yours. You'd have a lot of making up to do for him to truly open up to you.

“Thanks.” You whispered, suppressing the need to reach out and hug him. Out of all the times you had been naked with someone else in the bathroom no one took the time to wrap you in a towel. Such a minute action that you could have performed by yourself had put such a huge smile on your face, it was such a great feeling and you wish it would never have ended.

Once again you turned to leave, as good as you were feeling with your husband you figured you couldn’t just hang around in a towel all day, you were getting cold and Kylo had said he needed to go back to work. You made the first move to leave, but just as Kylo surprised you with toweling you, he surprised you upon leaving as well.

Instead of getting out of your way to leave, he grasped you by your jaw and drew your attention back up to him. The two of you stared at each other silently and passionately, you could tell from the sparkle in his eye and the way his lip trembled that he was losing his battle with his emotions. You brought your hand up on his wrist, you guessed correctly that he needed the contact as he moved his hands to your cheeks and simply held you there, his willing wife. Your other hand came up to his other wrist and your bit your lip, knowing that he didn’t want to leave you made you melt on the inside. Should you just say it? Should you tell him that you love him too? Were you ready to admit to him that you loved him just as he did you?

As your internal conflict raged on inside of you, Kylo seemed to have made up his mind as to what he wanted to do with you. He bent his head down and planted a warm, long kiss on your forehead, you closed your eyes soaked it in, the first real, emotional kiss you had in such a long time. Granted it was not on your own lips, but it still meant the same thing. Love, the kiss meant he loved you. The kiss was a means for him to convey his feelings of love and sadness due to your time away from him, It ended all too quickly and your forehead was cold in the wake of his soft lips. When you looked back up Kylo had released your face and you could see tears clinging to his lashes, he loved you, he really did love you even after you nearly ruined his reputation.

You stood at the top of the banister, leaning over and watching Kylo walk through the living room. He didn’t stop to look at you when he put his helmet on, or at all after he turned away from you to walk down the stairs. You simply watched him move through your home, feeling a pang of sadness as he approached the door. You would miss him, him and the one kiss you ever received from him.

Much to your surprise Kylo turned around once he opened the door, even though you weren’t familiar with the anatomy of his helmet you could tell he was staring right at you. You flashed him a smile for good luck and curled your fingers in a gentle wave, knowing it would do nothing but make his day at work that much better. You’d be here when he came back, and maybe he’d want to love on you more that night.

“I’m sorry that I embarrassed you.” You said, watching Kylo’s eyes open next to you. His breathing had become deep and even, you felt bad for waking him up but just reminiscing on the morning's events prompted a proper apology from you, now would be better than never. “I was just really hurt when I found you and Hux.” You felt his chest rise and fall, the small movements of his muscles under your head told you he was awake for good. “It was a mistake, I should never have let him into our house that day, let alone our bed.” Your lips curled in a smile, it was so satisfying to hear him refer to it as ‘ _our’_ house and bed.

“I know, but it was childish. And I feel bad for yelling at you and telling all of your business in front of the medbay like that.” Kylo was silent and, once again, the guilt was building in your chest. All of those people knew about Kylo’s affair and they knew about yours, you had embarrassed the both of you and it wasn’t your place to have that conversation out in the open when it should have been done in private.

“I deserved it.” He said.

“No you didn’t.” You replied. “You’ve been nothing but nice to me, Kylo. I’m so sorry.” You felt tears beginning to prick your eyes as your voice became strained, why hadn’t you thought about the consequences of your terrible actions? Kylo tightened his arm around you as he sighed, you had never felt more safe in someone's arms before.

After some time passed you still weren’t able to sleep, you had more you needed to get off of your chest and it was only fair that Kylo knew your feelings as he let you know his.

“I was hurt so much because my parents set me up to fail. I was never meant to be happy, I bred only to make other people happy and that's really not a good feeling." You were shaking, feeling like you had already gone too far in your explanation and were about to scare Kylo off. When you got no reply from Kylo you took it as a cue to continue, there was no going back now. "But after you started to open up to me and spend time with me I realized that you were trying your best to make me happy. I mean, I was so worried you were going to make me have sex with you on our wedding night, or that you were just going to keep me locked up so you could fuck me whenever, but you didn’t. You just left me alone, and I appreciated every second of it.” Kylo still wasn’t moving and not speaking, you couldn’t tell if he was trying to ignore you or if he was listening intently. You turned on your side toward him, throwing your arm over his body and resting your hand on his muscular chest. He was so warm and comforting, you loved him so much.

“It’s so difficult to admit this knowing what I know now about that time, but I thought you were starting to love me. The way you’d talk to me and how we did yoga together, it all just made me feel so good. I thought you’d be the first and only person to love me in my life and the  only person to make me happy when I was meant to suffer. I was really beginning to love you too.” You sniffed, couldn’t hold back the tears that slipped down your cheeks and pooled on his breast. Reliving the memories of how you felt before catching Kylo in the act hurt so much, you thought the two of you were over your own infidelity but clearly you weren't.

“So when I found you and _him_ …” Images of Hux sitting in between Kylo’s knees raced through your mind. The noises, Kylo begging him for more, just the thought of Hux coming into your home when you didn't know and having his way with Kylo, knowing it wasn't the first time he had been with your husband made you break down right there in Kylo’s arms. You buried your face into his chest and sobbed. You thought you had finally proven your parents wrong, that you had found someone who loved you for you and that made you genuinely happy. But no, they were right. You were just a pawn to be played in someone elses game now, a pawn to be conquered and kept by your husband. Kylo’s actions had only proven it to you now too.

Kylo’s arm tightened around you and he rubbed your shoulder up and down in a comforting gesture. “I’m sorry.” Was all he said as you cried, you wished you could have told him that it wasn’t his fault, that he had just been playing off of your own actions and assuming you’d never love him, but the situation was made more complicated by the fact that he did, indeed, _love_  you by then. The entire situation was just a hodge podge of misery, love, hatred, and confusion, as soon as blame was placed on one person it would immediately move to the other due to the action or feeling of the other. It was a difficult situation and you were happy to be talking it out with your husband, finally finding common ground and coming to a conclusion to this dark chapter of your lives.

“I, I can’t believe I was so stupid. I can’t believe I tried to hurt you the way I did. You didn’t deserve it Kylo, you didn’t deserve to be treated so poorly.” You said in between your sobs, the only thing you were solid on was that your actions were, indeed, uncalled for. Not only were you childish and selfish, but you were reckless in your quest for revenge. What if one of those two men had an STD? What if one of those men wanted to hurt you? What if one of them got you pregnant? No matter what the future held for you and Kylo you were sure you’d be regretting your embarrassing actions for the rest of your life.

“Relax. Just relax.” Kylo said, you could hear the exhaustion in his voice. You were sure he was ready to just move on for the night and go to sleep and, truth be told, so were you. This was a terrible part of your life that had brought out one of the best moments in your life, the sooner you moved on the sooner you and Kylo could enjoy your new feelings together as what you were meant to be: Husband and Wife.

“Get some rest, my wife. Let’s not dwell on this any longer.” Kylo suggested softly, you couldn’t help but to agree with him. You nodded your head against him, wiping your tears away with the heel of your hand. “It hurts me to hear you cry, my love.” Your heart soared at your new title, as Kylo moved your hair out of your face as you once again adjusted your head on him. The two of you needed sleep, the two of you needed each other.

 

You woke up the next morning alone. Kylo was gone and the only thing left in his place was a small note on his pillow that read:

 

_My Dear Wife,_

_I’ve made you an appointment to see my doctor at the medbay for a general check up at 2 pm. When you get there he will explain the procedures that are to be done. Please don’t be late and I’ll see you when you get home._

_I love you, Kylo_

 

You couldn’t help the joy that built up inside of you, even wiping the sleep out of your eyes didn’t stop your excited smile and it didn’t stop your fluttering heart. _My dear wife. I love you, Kylo_. You just couldn’t stop imagining Kylo saying that in his own voice, you had come to love hearing him talk in your newfound feelings for Kylo. Something else that excited you was the fact that he stated he’d be home when you got home, you didn’t know what that meant for you but you were happy and looking forward to it, you couldn’t wait to spend more time with your husband now that the two of you were on the same page!

You made yourself breakfast as well as lunch, and come 1:30 you were on your way to the medbay. You were worried about why all of the sudden Kylo wanted you to have a physical after your heartfelt make up, but in the end you tried not to think about it. It was something your husband wanted from you and you were determined to make him happy after all the grief you caused him and yourself. If you wanted to move in the right direction you’d have to trust his judgements.

You sat on top of the examination table and kicked your legs, you hadn’t ever been to a doctor in your life and you were, understandably, nervous. The pills that you had gotten prescribed to stop a potential pregnancy were still sitting in the hallway for all you knew, and you hated to think what news of a storm trooper pregnancy would do to the good relationship you had built with Kylo. You blew some hair out of your face as the table squeaked below you, figuring that’s why Kylo sent you to the doctor.

Eventually his personal doctor showed up and explained that he was ordered to perform a physical that included blood work, a pregnancy test, and a basic gynecological exam. He explained thoroughly what was going to be done at what point in time, what scared you the most was when he explained to you what a Pap Smear was and how he was going to perform it.

The physical exam was not bad, all he did was basically feel around your body and look into your eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. He drew your blood into many collection tubes with colorful caps and then pricked your finger to check your iron. Finally he instructed you to urinate in a cup which would go off for testing, all easy tests that you had no problem enduring.

The gynecological exam, on the other hand, made you extremely uncomfortable. You were used to having penises and even fingers inside of you, but the metal speculum that held you open while the doctor took swabs of your vaginal walls as well as your cervix. After word he stuck his fingers as far as he could inside of you to feel your ovaries, you were in so much pain afterword you almost felt like you had been dicked down by Teal again--but in a bad way. The doctor sent you off with a smile, assured you that they would be in contact when all of your results came back. You nodded, stepping painfully out of his examination room and down toward your home. That was quite the experience.

 

When you got home you were met once again with an empty home. You were saddened, Kylo’s note had promised you he’d be home waiting for you. Maybe you were just being childish again, you were in the beginning stages of love so you felt like you always needed to be around Kylo.

You wandered through the kitchen to grab some water when you found a note on the fridge:

  


_My lovely wife,_

_Incase you’re looking for me, I am here. Upstairs in our bedroom is a gift for you to wear. Put it on and meet me downstairs. I cannot wait to see you wear it._

_Love, Kylo._

 

You snickered as you realized why Kylo had you properly tested. Notes like these only pointed toward one thing, and that was a set of silky, lacy, sexy, lingerie sitting on the bed. Kylo got you checked out because he didn’t want you having sex with other men, he wanted you to have sex with him. You pranced up the stairs, feeling the unmistakable feeling of need brew in your loins. This was it, this was how you’d be committing yourself to Kylo for good.

You opened your bedroom door and found a white box with a large black bow sitting on top. You bit down excitedly on your lip as you made your way over, taking the soft bow in your hands and pulled it apart. You wasted no time in tearing the top off but gasped as you laid your eyes on your gift from Kylo. You reached into the box as you ran your fingers over the soft white fabric, could this really be what you thought it was?

With both hands you lifted your gift out of the box and let the garment completely unfold, your eyes going wide as you saw the entirety of your gift. In your hands you held a wedding gown. It wasn’t a huge, showy wedding gown and it wasn’t black with red accents, like what the wedding planner forced you into on your wedding day. It was long, flowy, backless, and partially sideless; there was a thick heart shape that hung from the thin shoulder straps and met the skirt of your dress at your hips. The only reason why you knew it was a wedding dress was because there was a beautiful silky white veil that sat underneath of it. You picked it up, feeling yourself becoming emotional as you realized Kylo was trying to recreate your wedding day. You set the items down as you took another look around your room, your husband was so clever and it was clear now more than ever that he wanted to start a new with you, starting with your perfect marriage.

You had tried not to cry as you exited your bedroom dressed in your exquisite wedding gown with your wedding veil over your face, however you could not stop the wonderful smile that made your entire face go sore and nearly numb as you saw Kylo stand from the couch to get a better look at you. He had honored the traditional wedding practice of not viewing his wife before she walked down the aisle, or in this case the stairs.

He was handsome, dressed to the nines in a sharp black suit. His hair was combed over and he held a black pillow in his hands that held two golden rings. You trembled at the sight of his rock hard demeanor crumbling into a soft and gentle look of awe. You were his wife, and he was your husband and the two of you were going to have a proper, lovely wedding this time.

You began to descend the stairs, clutching the railing as to not slip in your black heels. The last thing you needed was to make a fool of yourself in front of Kylo again, this time on your second wedding day. Kylos eyes followed you all the way down, with each step you took toward him his smile seemed to grow. You had never seen him this happy before, what felt even better was how happy you currently were as you stood in front of him. You had never thought being married would feel this good.

Kylo took in a shaky breath as he set the pillow down on the couch next to him, he quickly took a hold of both of your hands and rubbed your knuckles with his thumbs. You didn’t think it was possible to feel so safe or comfortable from such a small gesture, but Kylo was an amazing man and could do amazing things to do, including make you melt from simply holding your hands in his.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I think we should start over.” He said, blinking tears back from his eyes. You were doing the same, thinking about the major differences between your first wedding and this one. You felt wanted, it wasn’t in front of a crowd, and most importantly it wasn’t being forced upon you. “I, I just wanted a real wedding, a wedding where I know that I love you.” You squeezed his hands to reassure him, then nodded your head in agreeance. “Okay, well I’ve been practicing these vowels all day. I know this came as a surprise, so I don’t expect you to have any. But I just thought you’d like to hear what I came up with.” You stared up at him in anticipation, Kylo hadn’t disappointed you yet today and you were certain you’d love every word that would come out of his mouth.

He cleared his throat, looking down at the floor momentarily before his glassy, red eyes met yours once again and he began to read his vows:

“When you walked into my life, love walked in too. It was a magical moment that I will treasure forever with you. I promise to love you, to be your hearth, to keep a flame alive for you in my heart. Our love will bind us together through all time and this I promise, to always be true. I vow to love you as you love me, through all hardship, darkness, and pain to reach for our joys, our hopes, and always with honesty and faith. Together you and I will make one, one world, one universe of love, ever growing, ever expanding - perpetually inexorably.”

After Kylo was done reciting his vow all floodgates broke loose. Your grip on his hand faltered and now you were looking down at his feet freely crying. No one had ever loved you like this, you were always meant to be a mediocre part of a man's life, but not to Kylo. To Kylo you were his wife, his love, his best friend, and the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. You never thought you could ever be this happy and emotional before.

You quieted your sobs down and managed to change them to a small giggle before whispering a measly ‘ditto’ as a response, you knew you wouldn’t have been able to come up with anything as good as what Kylo had poured from his heart so you didn’t even try. When you looked back up at him he had dropped one of your hands in favor of grabbing the pillow which held your rings. He seemed pained to have to let go of you again to pick up your beautiful wedding ring and slip it onto your finger--you hadn’t even worn a wedding ring before today and never thought much of it. But this ring was beautiful, it had a gold band with a modest diamond sitting on top of it that sparkled and shined in the sunlight coming from your living room window.

Kylo held the pillow out to you, you had almost forgotten that you had to slip the regular gold band onto his finger as well. Tears clouded your eyes as you took his left hand into yours, carefully sliding the ring down his 4th digit. You shook in absolute amazement as you realized there was one more thing left to do in order to officiate your happily ever after with Kylo Ren.

He lifted the veil from your head and took in your look of lovely anticipation, throwing it back behind you and letting it fall down past your waist. He was hesitating, almost seemed to be afraid of the outcome of your kiss. You didn’t understand, you wanted this and so did he! You were upset that he was making you wait and decided to move things along in a more traditional way.

“Kylo Ren, you may now kiss the bride.” You said, your voice thick and cracking with emotion. Kylo smiled, laughing at you as he took a hold of the sides of your head and drawing you closer to his face. Over a year ago when you thought you’d have to be doing this same thing you were full of dread. You were afraid, closed your eyes when the time came to press your lips to the notorious Jedi Killer.

But now, as Kylo’s soft, supple lips came to rest on yours, you couldn’t help but to lean into him, to wrap your arms around him and pull yourself closer to him. You worked your lips against his in order to voice your praise over his actions, over the feeling of his hands coming to rest on the bare skin of your back, over his beautiful and thoughtful idea to marry the two of you again in his living room. You couldn’t get enough of him, and you wanted all of what he had to offer you.

 


	12. Chapter 12

The morning after your wedding you found yourself finally partaking in yoga once again, this time more closely and intimately with your now official husband. You sat cross-legged on the floor facing each other, your hands rested on Kylo’s knees and Kylo’s hands rested on yours. The two of you had your eyes closed and were breathing deeply and soundly, soaking in every second of closeness with the person you loved the most. You had realized that during your three-day revenge seeking adventure you hadn’t taken any time to do yoga at all, and boy did you feel the suffering now.

You could feel the stress falling off of you the second you let go of everything and brought your walls down in succession with Kylo. It felt so marvelous to simply sit and meditate with Kylo know that both of you knew you loved each other, for some reason it felt even better than when you previously did yoga. Touching him, breathing with him, becoming one with him as your elements aligned with one another in the lovely silence and privacy of your own bedroom. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

Kylo gently squeezed your knee, you opened one eye to see what he wanted. “Can we, do that one position where we kinda, stretch each other out?” You cocked your brow at his description, there were a lot of positions you had shown him that morning that involved stretching your bodies out. Kylo looked at you quite lost and frustrated, then sighed as he let go of your knees and held his hands out to you. You smiled as you placed your hands in his, he instructed you to open your legs and place the sole of your feet onto his, when you complied he reciprocated your position. He began pulling on your arms and the position you had shown him popped into your mind. It was the seated bound angle, a position meant to stretch out your lower back and thighs. You bowed to him, because you had been doing yoga for a while you were able to lean down enough to touch your nose to the ground, Kylo leaned back as far as you would let him pull you. After taking a few deep breaths you sat back up, switching positions with Kylo and grasping him by his arms so you could pull him and stretch his back. He was not as limber as you were so he couldn’t bow as far as you could, but that was okay. You were determined to work with him and make him a yoga expert.

The two of you finished up your morning yoga and Kylo immediately moved to the bathroom to get ready for work. You were disappointed to say the least, yesterday you had been married for maker's sake! You just wanted to spend more time with Kylo. You stood in the middle of the living room, twiddling your thumbs as you practiced what you would say to Kylo to try and get him to stay home. The sounds of his morning routine rang in your ears, sounds of the toilet flushing and the sink running, him rummaging about the cabinets to brush his teeth and his hair. Normally by now you would have started breakfast, but you wanted to be there when Kylo exited instead. 

When he had finally left the bathroom you gave him an excited smile, stepping up to him while he looked down at you confused. “What’s so funny?” Kylo asked even though you weren’t giggling. “Do you really have to go to work today?” You asked as politely as you could. Kylo dropped his confused facade for a more caring and relaxed one, taking your cheeks in his hands and bringing you up for a kiss. “I do. Criminals won't interrogate themselves, unfortunately.” 

“But, we just got married yesterday. Isn’t there anyone else that can do it?” Your smile faded, upset that Kylo still had his mind on nothing but work. “Afraid not, my beautiful wife. The Order needs me.” He turned away from you and began walking toward the bedroom door, you were crushed, almost felt like you could cry. The two of you had just made up, had an actual wedding, but Kylo still prioritized work over you, his newlywed wife. 

“I need you too. Don’t you want to have a honeymoon or, or something?” You tried not to pout like a let down child, but part of you couldn’t help it, you had thought this union would be like an actual wedding and you weren’t expecting Kylo to put work above you, at least not this soon after your real wedding. You followed Kylo down the stairs and hoped you weren’t bugging him, you weren’t trying to force him to accept your pleas. You understood that the entire First Order depended on him and he held a lot of responsibility as their leader, but it hardly seemed fair. You guys had just admitted your love for each other, didn’t he  _ want  _ to spend more time with you? 

“I know, I know my dear.” He sighed, seemingly becoming upset as he inched more and more toward his helmet that perched on its stand. “But I do have something in store for you, it just can’t be executed right now.” Once again he leaned into you and kissed you on the lips, this time you kissed back as you realized he was saying goodbye. “You’ll have to trust me.” He spoke, the sadness in his voice becoming quite heavy. He turned toward the door, assured you though his modulator that he’d be back home later that night, and with that he was gone, off to work on the day after his perfect wedding.

Over time your yoga moves became more and more complex, performing moves like the Temple which required the two of you to bend at the waist and hold each others hands above your heads, the Double Down Dog which had Kylo in the Downward dog position while your feet rested on the back of his hips and your hands on the floor, and the Lateral Side Bend which put both of you on the floor, your feet touching and bending your torso to opposite sides each holding one of your hands in the center of your position. These were among Kylo’s favorite yoga moves, and the more you performed with each other the more you could see the effects in Kylo.

He became a much happier person, his posture became more upright and you noticed he started to request healthier foods to eat at meal times. He became more focused during conversations with you and with others that you had seen him talking to and, most importantly, he began to relax more often. When you went to visit him at work he was mostly calm, observing his crew and going about his day the way a normal person would, unlike before when you’d find him very frustrated and sometimes in a rage over the tiniest things. A report was typed up incorrectly, bad news was given to him, or a piece of technology had broken down and put him back on his work for the day. Those were just a few of the things you had to calm Kylo down from raging about. But now? You hadn’t seen Kylo even so much as sneer at anything in the last couple of weeks. His progress mimicked yours and you were proud of your husband, he had come so far and it was all due to your help.

One of Kylo’s favorite moves was one where he lifted you into the air with his hands and his feet, his feet were on your hips while your body was stretched all the way out like a plank. The flying warrior is what it was called, and he often joked that you’d never be able to lift him in the air like he could you. You laughed at him, looking down at him and his beautiful black hair that had distributed itself all around his head. He laughed back and you had decided that, for the millionth time since you came to love him, that he was perfect. 

“Did I tell you that the doctor notified me of your medical results?”

“Oh?” You asked, you had completely forgotten about even going to the doctor a few weeks ago. “He got back to me last week, said you were perfect.” He repositioned his feet on you, bending his knees and bringing you down to peck you on the lips. “Well I could have told you that.” You said on your way back up. Kylo’s face of jovial fun deteriorated to that of concern, he thought he had insulted you. He began to apologize to you but you quickly cut him off. “It’s alright, I know my dad altered my medical records.” You thought back to your history of drug use and alcoholism, wondering what would have come up on a test, if anything. “I know you know my history.” You admitted with a forced, sad smile while trying to keep the mood light.

“It doesn’t change how much I love you.”

“I know, I know.” You said suddenly embarrassed about your past, with and without Kylo. You didn’t think it would hit you this hard, mostly because you weren’t ever worried about loving the man you were married to. 

“Hey, everyone makes mistakes. There’s no need to worry about your past anymore.” Kylo said, bringing you back down to him once again, this time adjusting his legs and feet so that you were laying down flat on top of him. “I’m sorry. It’s just so hard to believe that I have someone that loves me like you do after everything my parents had put in my head.” Kylo smiled lovingly up at you which only reinforced the idea that he truly did love you. You couldn’t help the kiss that you bestowed upon his lips, he deserved it.

You rested your head down on his chest, knowing he would need to be getting up for work soon broke your heart like it did every morning. Doing your best to tie your limbs around him, you thought if you anchored yourself to him you’d stop him from leaving you. Or at least he’d have to carry you around with him all day and you wouldn’t be alone. 

“I’m not taking you to work with me, my dear. Nice try.” Kylo said, the sound of his voice radiating through his chest and into your ear comforted you so much. You chuckled, picking your head up and pressing your face into his chest. He smelled of clean laundry and of your home. His smell, his voice, his being all made you feel at home and made you feel so safe, you wouldn’t change a single thing about him.

Suddenly he was gripping you around your shoulders, flipping the both of you in one motion so that you were now the one laying on your back and he was seated on top of you, his hands on either side of your head while his pelvis was settled in between the apex of your thighs. It was surprising, and you hardly had a chance to take in your new position before Kylo had opened his mouth and was speaking smoothly to you once again. “Remember how on our first wedding night you asked me about a ‘consummation?’” Kylo moved a strand of hair out of your face that misplaced itself as he turned you and suddenly your skin was on fire, burning with a passion that you had been longing for ever since your second marriage to Kylo. You were always too embarrassed to ask, afraid that you’d be rushing Kylo and it would put him off, but your patience at seemed to be paying off at this very moment.

“I was just curious as to if you wanted to make it official…” Your hands flew to Kylo’s collar where you began tugging at his shirt, breathlessly nodding as you felt your way down his back. Every so often you’d imagine being in this very position with Kylo: Naked, pinned underneath of him, your arms wrapped around his shoulders while your nails raked down his back in pure, sexual bliss. You imagined how he’d look at you, all serious as he fucked you slow and deep. It was a great image, one that you were hopefully going to be witnessing today.

Kylo nodded his head, whispered a small “okay” to you before dropping his head to you and planting a long, slow, sensual kiss on your lips. You eagerly kissed back, accepting his proposal as you started to move your hands down the length of your body to your sleep shorts, pulling them down as fluidly as you could as to not ruin the mood. You wanted Kylo and you wanted him now, not wanting to waste another second. He caught your hands, clicking his tongue disapprovingly. “Slow down, relax and enjoy this.” He said, placing a kiss on your nose before he sat up and pulled his white shirt off of him, revealing his perfectly toned and muscular body. “I want this moment to be perfect for us.” 

Your body was buzzing with the thrill of sex with the man that you had devoted your life to, this was even better than the thrill you had when you were with your storm trooper students. Kylo took the time to kiss his way down your body, to gently pull your sleeping shorts down along with your underwear. After he had exposed you, his eyes were glued to your intimate area, his mouth dropping open as you realized that this was the first time he had actually seen all of you. You blushed, realizing you had never had such an intimate moment with someone before having sex with them. You brought your shirt over your face to hide your rosy cheeks, relishing the feeling of Kylo’s warm hands rubbing up and down you legs and thighs, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake.

Suddenly he had scooped his hands under your ass, lifting your hips into the air and taking you by complete surprise. You knew what would come next, but you had no idea that it’s what Kylo would want. You had always thought this would be just regular penetrative sex, you didn't think he'd take the time to pleasure you first. It was a pleasent surprise which only made you appreciate your husband even more, you couldn't help but squeal in anticipation. His warm breath made contact with your skin and you shivered, the last time someone did this to you he had you screaming, you wondered if Kylo would stack up to your previous lovers.

He wasted no time in plunging his tongue deep inside of you, curling it upward against your front wall and succeeding in making your back arch in ecstasy. He ate you out low and slow, switching his attention between your hole and your clit whenever he felt like he needed to. The result was phenomenal; Teal was great at eating you fast and getting you off quickly, but Kylo was taking his time, lapping up your juices as your body produced them just for him. You were vocal, moaning and crying out as your hands went anywhere from your hair to your shirt to the carpet underneath of you, his hair was too far away as he sat on his knees while he pleasured you so you had to forfeit holding onto his luscious black mane. 

You were breathless as you begged him for more, could feel yourself climbing closer and closer to your release before it all stopped so abruptly, leaving your orgasm lingering just out of reach and you sorely disappointed. Kylo sat stunned, his rapid, shocked breathing turned your skin cold and the absence of his mouth and his tongue left you feeling quite empty. You looked up at him and pouted, whining just a bit as the pleasurable sensations slowly drifted away from you. Kylo’s eyes met yours and you couldn’t help but to smile at how shiny his lips and chin were--you loved a messy eater.

“You are so tasty.” Kylo said to you, not giving you a chance to recover before once again leaning down and enveloping your mouth with his. "Delicious." He breathed in your ear, you were once again slickening up for him just from the sound of his smooth, velvety voice. His tongue immediately met yours as you pushed further into his mouth and, for the first time, you had tasted yourself. Never had anyone taken the time to “share” with you after exclaiming that you tasted so good, it was so erotic and sent even more pleasure waves racing throughout your body. 

You lifted your hips to get closer to Kylo, you could feel his cock straining hard against his sweatpants and you wanted nothing more at that moment than for him to be inside of you. With his mouth still on yours Kylo pulled the waistband of his pants down and before you knew it you were jumping as the soft, smooth head of his cock was making contact with your sensitive clit. Kylo had leaned down onto his hands and knees and was now pushing his way inside of you, your body was singing with satisfaction and pleasure. He eased into you so easily, your walls stretching to accommodate him as you could feel he was almost as big, if not bigger than Teal was. You threw your head back and sighed, this was what you had been waiting for. For so long you wanted Kylo to make love to you, to love you like he does now. Now that you had finally gotten your wish, to feel his cock sliding so expertly in and out of you, dragging along your slick walls and once again pushing you closer and closer to orgasm, you had realized that it was worth the wait. 

Kylo was moaning as he picked up speed, you sat there with your ankles crossed behind his back just taking in the feeling of his cock dragging along your walls. In and out, back and forth, going deeper and deeper each time he stirred up feelings of love and adoration inside of you. Before you closed your eyes, you had seen him with his eyes closed dawning a look of total concentration. It was clear to you that he was enjoying the sex just as much as you were, so much so that he wasn’t bothered by the fact that the two of you were going at it on the bedroom floor. Perhaps he wanted to have you on the floor in front of the bed, after all that’s where the two of you did your yoga every morning. It was like your special spot, Kylo probably wanted to make love to you in the spot where the two of you had truly gotten to know each other.

When you decided you needed to see Kylo’s face again, you were met with Kylo’s striking brown eyes staring down at you. His hardened look of concentration had softened to a look of devoted love. He sighed as he slowed down momentarily, leaving just the head of his cock inside of you. “I love you, so much.” He whispered, leaning down and placing a small kiss on your forehead. “I love you too.” You whispered back. “Thank you, for sharing this with me.” Kylo was getting sentimental, and even though you were enjoying this lovely moment with him, the pulsating feeling in your loins was urging him to go on, to fuck you until you were coming right onto him. Right now, you wanted Kylo physically. The two of you could gush over one another later. 

Much to your delight Kylo picked up his speed once again, continuing where he left of and making love to you just the way you wanted until you could feel your orgasm creeping up on your again. You curled your toes and tightened your grip around Kylo’s hips, you were seconds from orgasming when Kylo interrupted you once again, pulling himself out and gripping his hard, reddening, cock in his hand. 

“Where do you want it?” He asked, stroking himself and pushing even more blood into the bulbous head of his cock. A clear strand of precum oozed from his hole, dripping down onto your skin. The glorious sight of him stroking his manhood above you nearly brought you to orgasm on your own, and you couldn’t decide. The only thing you thought to do was reach down between your legs to finish the job yourself, but you wanted your orgasm to be at Kylo’s hands, not your own. 

“On top?” He asked, his breathy moans told you he was just as close to cumming as you were. You nodded, he nodded, then began stroking himself a little quicker while simultaneously reaching down to your sex. He probed you with two fingers, using his thumb to gently stroke your clit to get both of you off. It took just a few antagonizing seconds before Kylo was cumming on you, the sight, smell, and feeling of his warm, thick, white seed spilling down onto your abdomen brought you over the edge as well. As Kylo squeezed the remnants of his cum from himself onto you, you allowed your back to arch as waves and waves of pleasure ran through you. You rode out one of the most powerful orgasms you had in a while, your body finally coming to an electrifying halt after Kylo removed his fingers from you. He brought them up to his face, a translucent trail of your own cum trailing them till it stretched so thin in broke. With a smile he placed them in his mouth and sucked them clean, the wet slurping noise caused you to look away in silly shame as if he hadn't tasted you fifteen minutes before. “Needed one more taste.” He teased you, then he reached behind him and gathered up his discarded T shirt and began to clean his spattered seed off of your skin. 

When he was finished you sat up, your wetness squishing all over you and dripping onto the carpet. You threw your arms around him and thanked him for such a good time, telling him you loved him. He wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tight. He thanked you as well, but for a completely different reason than you did. "Thank you," he started before letting go of you and moving to hold your hands at your waist. "Thank you for everything that you do for me." A genuine smile crept across his face and it was then you realized that you had done so much more for Kylo than you realized.

 

You and Kylo remained happily married for years, and five years after your second marriage you had finally fallen pregnant with his first child. It was a surprise, you had no suspicions until you had gone to Medbay for a routine, yearly physical and your doctor told you that you were 4 months pregnant. Kylo took the new great, you were a little hesitant at first but soon the idea of being a mother grew on you. Now here you were, heavily pregnant and due within the next two weeks. 

You and Kylo still managed to get your yoga exercises in every day, most of your poses were done on sitting on the floor unfortunately as you carried low, heavy, and straight out in front of you. One day Kylo came home from work early, kissed you on the cheek as he always did, sat down next to you on the couch and rubbed your stomach, and greeting his incoming child. You smiled at him, the plate of fruits you had laid upon your tummy moving slightly with your child’s welcoming kicking. At this point in time your child was full sized and every time they kicked you it felt like your ribs were going to break, although it was unpleasant to you Kylo loved it. Every time you felt the child work itself up in a tangent you'd call for him to come feel it move, if anything the look on Kylo's face as he admired his child's strength was awe inducing and, momentarily, it took you away from your pregnancy pain and woes. 

“Is everything okay today?” Kylo asked, snuggling up closer to you and stealing a berry off of your plate. “So far so good.” You answered, unamused at the thought of being pregnant still. Kylo took your hand in his and smiled at you, even he had become antsy and ready to meet his child for the first time just as you had several weeks ago. “Do you remember, after our second marriage when you asked about a honeymoon?”

“I think so.” You said, truth be told your recent memories had taken over your long term ones. Memories of your child’s nursery finally being finished, memories of the painful pelvic exams you had to endure every two weeks, memories of your ultrasounds and about fighting with Kylo over not wanting to know the gender of your baby, and memories of the last few months being pregnant with Kylo’s support had flushed out your older memories, particularly the ones that plagued you, the ones about your first year of marriage but it seemed a few of your good and mundane ones had disappeared with them. It also didn’t help that pregnancy brain had stuck with you during your entire pregnancy making you quite clumsy with not only your memories, but unfortunately there was no way you could combat that. 

“Well, I told you that I had something to show you and I think I’m ready to for you to know about it. Are you up for a short walk to my command shuttle?” He asked enthusiastically, patting the back of your hand with his free hand. You smiled at him, moving the plate of fruits to the armrest and wiping your hands clean on your T shirt. Walking for more than ten minutes or so would cause your feet to swell and your back to ache, but whatever it was that Kylo took five years to show you seemed to be good enough to work through the pain. 

The two of you walked hand in hand down the hallways of Star Killer Base to the hanger where he gently helped you up the ramp and into one of the chairs. He refused to tell you where you were going and, once you hit the atmosphere of your destination he covered your eyes until you you were standing anxiously at the top of the ramp. The air was hot and dusty and had a strangely familiar scent. He let go of your face and what stood before you was quite a sight to behold. 

It was your home. Your first home, the home you grew up in with your parents. Your eyes grew wide and your stomach churned, even your child jumped when your anxiety started to flow throughout your body. Kylo stepped down behind you, putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him. “Why did you bring me here?” You asked him, the whine in your voice almost impossible to hide.

The house sat in absolute shambles in front of you but you still recognized it for what it was. You didn't think it would take six years for your parents to let the house go. All of the windows had been smashed to pieces, the front door had been ripped right off of the hinges and the sand had partially covered the first two steps. You didn’t live in the best area of the planet so you were sure vandals and thieves had noticed it was abandoned and made their way in. You were certain that if your parents had packed their things to move to another house they would have definitely left your things there, they had all probably been picked over by the scavengers by now. 

“I wanted you to see what it looks like now.” You your tears beginning to surface, you didn’t know if this sight would normally make you emotional or if it was the hormones, but seeing your old home definitely struck an emotional nerve inside of you. “It’s sad.” You said, using the back of your hand to wipe your tears away. “I know, my love.” Kylo said as he kissed the side of your head. “But I feel like I should let you know, the money we paid them in your currency didn’t equate to much to what most of the Galaxy uses. The First Order had only paid them about 25 thousand credits, but on their planet they had about a million.”

You sniffed, watching the red and orange dust blow across the bottom of the ramp. “Gee, thanks.” You said glumly, this trip he was bringing you on instead of your honey moon was not making you feel any better. “But I’m not done,” he said, rubbing his gloved hands down your arms. “Your parents tried to leave the planet with their perceived million dollars to buy a house worth much more than this one on another planet, got caught short with only 25 thousand credits and tried to live off of that. Of course it didn’t work for very long and they had to find jobs. The planet they were on was a luxurious planet that was more or less a vacation spot and there were no real jobs available to them, so they had to resort to becoming thieves since they had no way of flying off the planet they were on.”

Through your silent sobs came a giggle as you thought of how stupid your parents were. Always so stuck on money that they didn’t stop and think about their actions. “They were caught and jailed so many times, switched their tactics to burglary and drug smuggling and selling, eventually the planet that they were on decided that permanent incarceration would be better for the society than to keep letting them out to ruin other people's lives. They started contacting the First Order during our third year of marriage and haven’t since stopped, hoping we’d send them funds since they became 'protected members' of the Order, a status that we never promised them.”

“Idiots.” You snarled, your parents were idiots. “I’ve heard some of the messages they leave for me and for you. They beg you for forgiveness in tears, you’d think they’re getting murdered while they ask for you to come bail them out. It boils my blood, how they treated you before and how they’re kissing your ass now.” Once again he kissed your hair, taking in the scent of your hair with a sharp inhale, he had often told you that he loved the way you smell and it often calmed him. “I just thought I’d bring you here, show you how much you’ve grown and hopefully to remind you about what you have now, to tell you about your parents and how they’ve failed not only you but themselves as well.” He placed his free hand on your protruding belly button, your wrapped your arm around him and hugged him tight. “And what you’re going to have.” You smiled up at him, Kylo was such a genuine and thoughtful man and he obviously only wanted what was best for you and your child. Bringing you here wasn’t to make you cry or to haunt you, after what he told you what had become of your foolish and asinine parents you were grateful for his idea. You only wished he had brought you sooner, when you didn’t feel like you had a watermelon hanging off of your abdomen.

You replayed that day in your head: Waiting with your mother for Kylo’s ship, walking next to her as she pulled you behind her to sell you off as quickly as possible, dropping your luggage off the ramp, trying to run away, and being dragged into the ship against your will. Perhaps the part that hurt the most was when your belongings were ripped from your hands and thrown to the side, it was as if everything that made you yourself had been stripped from you and you went into the Order with nothing. But you had came out on top, had conquered your parents and their wishes for you and even got to see their failure right in front of your face. They wanted you to suffer while they flourished in riches, but the tables had turned. They were rotting in prison while you were thriving with a loving, caring husband and a baby on the way. It made you happy to think of the cracked photo as a spell you had cast on your parents, a curse you unknowingly wished upon them and you smiled to yourself, placing your hand onto your belly you began to waddle down the ramp, Kylo not too far behind you to help you every step of the way.

If memory served correctly then you knew that Kylo’s ship had landed about in the same spot it did when you were first picked up, the house sat squarely in front of you. That would mean that your belonging  _ might  _ still be buried in the sand to your right. You shuffled your way to the spot you felt like it could have been if it had not moved at all and began to shift the sand with your feet. Kylo asked what you were doing, the only thing you told him was to help you dig. You felt like the chance of your luggage being there with all of your important clothing being there was very slim, but who would see a photo of a couple on the ground and steal it? You were determined to find that photo, to remember what your good for nothing parents looked like before their lives fell apart.

It only took about twenty minutes of digging around before your foot struck something pointed and tough. You squatted down, holding your arms out in front of you as you started to roll forward and used your hands to unearth the brown photo frame. You held the frame in your hands and dusted it off, as the dust fell away it revealed your happy parents, holding one another like a good married couple. You smiled, it made you feel so,  _ so  _ good to know they had failed and didn’t have the time to subject yet another innocent girl to a forced marriage. Kylo came up beside you and slipped his arm around your hip, admiring the photo with you.

“We can go see them if you want. Wait till the baby is born and rub it in, really make them hurt.” You ran your finger gently down the crack that went down the center of the photo, studying your father’s round, greedy face. Should you really grace them with your presence? Should you let them have the brief hope of being able to be saved by you and your riches? Should you go just to hear them say they were wrong and that they wanted you back?

You took another look up at your house, remembering the locks that were placed on your doors and windows, the memory of them running up and down the hallway rejoicing at your sale. Your blood boiled and your vision turned red, they were atrocious.

You wound your arm behind your head and, with all your might, threw the photo at the broken down and abandoned house. “Bastards!” You shouted, the sound of glass shattering in the distance was oh, so satisfying. You looked to Kylo with a proud grin on your face, he was still looking at the trajectory of the photo you pitched. “Our child doesn’t deserve to even look at those people. They can rot for all I care.” 

Kylo looked down at you, smirking as he took both of your cheeks in his hands and drew you closer to him for a kiss. “I couldn’t agree more.” He said, taking a hold of your hand. “Shall we? I have reservations for a hotel on Spira, an actual honeymoon finally.” You giggled, thinking about how cool it would be to give birth on such a nice planet. “Well, as long as they stay on track and don’t come within the next week, I’m ready for a vacation.”

“Excellent.” Kylo said, taking your hand in his and squeezing it reassuringly. The two of you turned and began to ascened the ramp. You had let your past die, killed it as soon as you heard the glass shatter in the remains of their your old home. You had proudly turned your back on your old life. 

And you never looked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another story finally coming to an end. Thanks for coming along for the ride readers! Hope you enjoyed this story that had been brewing in my mind for a while, I'm so happy I decided to post it. Writing nice, but unfaithful Kylo Ren was a joy.


End file.
